Welcome to the Jungle, Sweetheart

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

           Axl disappeared in the evening to Slash didn't know the hell where. Which really sucked because before he left he made out with Slash for a good five minutes. Now Slash was all hard and horny and he couldn't have sex with Axl. Normally he'd just go to a bar and find a girl to fuck. But he didn't want to fuck some chick, he wanted Axl. But that wasn't an option, so he'd just have to settle with a girl to find some satisfaction.

So he went off to the bar, got buzzed, found a nice-looking blonde with nicer tits, and went back with her to her apartment. As he kissed down her neck and undid her blouse, she giggled and let out high-pitched moans and he found himself thinking, 'woman shut up I've hardly touched you.' She was so giggly and squealy, and he found it actually pretty annoying. But he ignored it. 

He kissed her breast and rested the side of his head against her chest, as he ran his hand up her skirt, finding his way to her ass. He always used to like the soft, firmness of the girl's breast, but now he couldn't figure out why he felt uncomfortable. He felt like it was hard to rest his head against her. Unlike Axl's smooth chest, which was always warm and inviting him to sleep on. Or her legs, they were soft and clean and she had an okay I guess curvy ass, but hey it wasn't Axl's. Slash always loved how he had such a fine ass. He couldn't possibly compare a chick to him.

Slash froze. 

Fuck. 

Why am I here. 

He realized with a sudden epiphany. 

I have no attraction to this woman. 

None whatsoever. 

I have no interest in being here or fucking this girl. 

All I'm doing is wishing it was Axl.

He suddenly felt very cold and he sat up, climbing off the girl and putting his shirt and boots back on. The girl lay confused, topless, and actually pretty angry on the bed. "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" She asked with a demanding tone in her voice. Slash said nothing, his face hidden behind his curly hair, and went out the door. 

He went back to the bar his mind swarming with confusion, fear and anger. He ordered glass after glass, attempting to drink away his confusion and frustration. He was still confused and frustrated, but everything felt hazier. 

But he was PISSED.

That fucking little bitch. If I never fucked him I wouldn't have any problem. I'd still be fucking chicks and I wouldn't have a care in the world. But now I don't like them at all. They look fine but I don't have any interest in having sex with them anymore. They're all just so easy to get and I don't want easy prey anymore. I want the good stuff that I shouldn't be allowed to have. I want the forbidden fruit. All I want now is that fucking little bitch who isn't even here. The goddamn one who probably went off to fuck his own girl.

He bought another bottle of whiskey and left, heading back down the dark, night street to his place to continue drowning his thoughts on the couch. It didn't work, he was now just hammered and furious.

The little bitch made me gay. It's as simple as that. If I'd never come across him I'd be perfectly straight like I always was and he always was. But now I hardly even want to fuck a chick, and all I want is his goddamn slutty ass. He probably knows how HE feels, hell he's probably out fucking with some guy, experimenting, ditching me because he wants a good fuck and he doesn't need me for that. Someone else is probably fucking that slut right now. He's probably laughing at how fucked up he's got me. 

That fucking little bitch.

Slash heard the door open and he turned around in the darkness to see none other than Axl fucking Rose standing at the door. He closed it carelessly behind him. As if he had no idea what he's done. But he knows full well. "Hey sweetheart," Axl greeted him, putting his keys in his pocket and tossing off his jacket and boots.