Hold Me Into Fading

Kabanata 24

Kabanata 24

Balik

Bumalik ako ng Cagayan. Hindi ako bumalik dahil may tinatakasan ako. May iba akong ginawa. May iba akong inasikaso.

Binati ko si Philip para sa isa na namang trending at successful exhibit. Imbes na magpasalamat, niyakap niya ako.

"Congratulations to us!" he whispered. "You deserve this, Hiraeth."

Ngumiti ako at lumayo sa kanya.

"We should celebrate. Without your help and effort, this wouldn't be a success."

"If it wasn't for your artworks, this wouldn't happen. Ang lahat ng success ni Hiraeth, dahil 'yon sa 'yo."

Sinipat ko ang mga taong nagtitingin sa mga portrait. Ibinalik kay Philip ang tingin nang nasigurado kong hindi kami maririnig dito.

"Hindi ako nagkamali na ipagkatiwala sa 'yo ang mga gawa ko, Philip. Tama lang talaga na ikaw ang pinamahala ko sa lahat ng exhibit. Thank you for taking care of my arts, and for not disclosing my identity to the people."

His smile warmed me.

"You are crafting your image as Hiraeth carefully, Reel. Kahit ikaw, hindi mo na halos matandaan na ikaw si Hiraeth! Imagine how it sounded ridiculous everytime you tell me to remind you of Hiraeth's exhibit! E, ikaw naman ang nagdedesisyon ng araw at lugar!"

Mahina akong natawa ro'n.

"I can't keep in touch with Hiraeth that much and that long cuz she is too far from Reel. You know why I put Hiraeth into existence, right?"

Tumango siya. Minsan ko na ring nabanggit kay Philip ang dahilan ko para magtago sa katauhan ni Hiraeth. I want to live a life that is far from being Reel. I want to breathe as somebody else and not as Vioreliese La Clava Del.

"I still remember your reason. Ang sabi mo, gusto mong magkaroon ng exhibit na hindi ka nakikilala ng iba. But you see, everyone is excited to meet Hiraeth. Pagod na pagod na akong itanggi ka sa kanila, Reel!"

"The last series, let's have it. I permit you to have Heart's Delusions of Harieth on exhibit. After that, we shall take a break."

Iginiya ako ni Philip palabas ng venue. Hindi pa tapos ang exhibit. Unang araw pa lang ngayon. Tatagal ito ng tatlong araw. Pero dahil may iba akong kailangan intindihin, kailangan ko nang umalis.

Nakarating nga sa akin ang ilang personal invitations na ipinadaan kay Philip para iparating kay Hiraeth. Some big people are inviting me for a fanmeeting. Or for a press conference. Anything that requires public appearance. Hindi ko naman magawang tanggapin dahil wala sa plano ko ang ipakilala si Hiraeth sa publiko.

She exists because of my despair. When I had to disown my artworks of Aliegher, that was when she was born. I repainted my signature as the real owner. Pinalitan ko ng bagong pirma. Kalaunan, binago ko na ang pirma ko sa lahat ng natapos kong painting. I changed it to Hiraeth.

One time, I met Philip. He is the person I know who manages exhibits very well. Hanggang ngayon ay tandang tanda ko pa kung paano niya pinlano ang unang exhibit ni Hiraeth. Simula no'n, siya na ang naging kanang kamay ko para sa lahat ng exhibit na gusto kong mangyari.

Hiraeth made things bearable for me. Her existence made me live easily. Maliban sa siya ang pinagkakaguluhan ng mga tao para sa sunod sunod na successful exhibits, siya rin ang nagtago sa akin mula sa paghahanap ng pamilya ko.

It surely got their attention. Especially my exhibits when I displayed few scenes of Primavera. At kung minsan, mukha pa ng pamilya ko. Good thing that they were too busy looking for me that they ignored the details. All they know is that Hiraeth created them all. And not me. It is not Reel.