All Of My Silences Will Be Your Words [English Vers. - FINISHED]

Chapter Seven

I sank further into the soft blankets, trying to calm my racing brain. It was nearly half past midnight, but I couldn't fall asleep. The whole household had been in bed for nearly an hour now. I'd heard everyone going through the bathroom one by one, wishing each other a good night, then shutting themselves up in their rooms - or in the living room for Felix, who had to sleep on the sofa bed. Mrs. Lee had knocked gently on my door and wished me good night. I gave her a smile and a wave.

Then I turned off the light and... I couldn't fall asleep. It had never happened to me before ; a few times since I'd moved in with the Lee family, but nothing serious. Except that tonight, I was restless, not at all tired, already ready to do a full day's work again. My brain was replaying the moments I'd spent with Felix, one by one, over and over in my mind. I couldn't do anything ; I couldn't read, write or watch videos on my phone... It was as if nothing else could interest me except him. Why was that ? Why did I feel so alive, so energetic, since he'd arrived ? I'd always spent my life expecting nothing from my days. I got up, I ate, I got ready, I followed the program I'd been given, and in the evening I ate and went to bed. Period. Why, how had he managed to change that ? I'd only known him a few hours.

I also felt sorry that he had to sleep on the sofa bed. Since I'd been lying in bed, I'd felt like an intruder. Like I'd taken his place. And I hated it.

***

- You've got to be kidding, it doesn't get more comfortable than this !

Felix patted the blankets he'd added with his father earlier in the evening to make him more comfortable. The sofa bed may have been comfortable, but it was no substitute for a real bed.

Chan's laugh echoed through the living room as Felix smiled, pleased with his joke.

- Don't worry, you'll be sleeping in your own bed when you get back, not on a sofa bed. Chan joked.

- I certainly hope so ! If not, I'll get rid of the one who dared steal my bed ! Commented his friend in the same tone.

Chan continued to laugh behind the screen, and Felix ran a hand through his hair, already regretting his joke. What he'd just said was pretty much what had happened here. Sae-Jin had taken his room and therefore his bed, which was why he'd ended up on a sofa bed for the week. He didn't blame her ; it was he himself who had offered his mother the idea of Sae-Jin taking his room.

- Anyway, how's your family ? Chan asked him again, seeing that he had become silent and pensive.

- Ah, Felix continued, concentrating on his friend, it's okay, everyone's fine. My parents welcomed Sae-Jin a month ago. Things seem to be going well, and Sae-Jin is slowly settling in at home.

- Oh, yes ! I forgot all about it! So what's she like ? Chan asked, curious.

A smile stretched Felix's lips, but he couldn't help it.

- She's...

Discreet ? Mysterious ? Silent ? Intriguing ?

- What's with the smile, Lix ? Chan laughed, teasing.

- Aaah, stop imagining things ! Felix stopped him, feeling his cheeks turn pink.

How could he have feelings for her when they hardly knew each other ?

- Go on, finish your sentence instead of letting me imagine things ! Laughed Chan.

- You didn't give me time ! Felix protested.

- You're a liar ! Are your cheeks all red ?

- Aaaaah shhhh! He moaned, covering his face with the comforter.

He could still hear Chan laughing, and pulled the comforter down, just so his eyes could see his screen.

- I won't tell if you keep laughing. He threatened.

Except that Chan had gone into a fit of giggles and he had to wait ten minutes before he calmed down.

- Okay, I'm better, go ahead, I'm listening. sighed the leader with a big smile a few moments later.

Felix pouted.

- I can see your smile.

- I promise I won't make fun of you anymore, and it wasn't mean. Tell me what's going on.

As if to underline his words, Chan sat down in front of the screen, hands folded in his lap, attentive. Felix pursed his lips in thought.

- It's... Strange, he finally said.

- Strange how ?

- Sae-Jin's great, that's not what I mean, he said again, searching for the right words. Even though she's discreet and was initially intimidated by my presence, she's very observant and... You know, the kind of person who listens to you very carefully, no matter what you say, like they're really interested, even if it's not always something very important ?

Chan nodded silently, restraining himself from saying that his friend had just described himself.

- Anyway, she's like that. She doesn't smile much, but when she does... You can see she's not faking it. She's really honest, whatever she does.

- I sense a "but"... Chan commented softly.

- Well, because of what she went through as a child, she hardly speaks at all. She can, physically speaking, but so far neither I nor my family have heard her utter a single word.

Chan raised an eyebrow in surprise.

- What do you mean, mental ? You mean it's mental ?

- I think so. To make herself understood, she writes in a notebook. But I have to admit that it limits interaction a bit, and I can't say I've really gotten to know her today.

- Wait, wait, I'm out of here, his friend stopped him, moving closer to the screen. Why is that a problem ? I mean, yes, it's clearly not as easy, but it's only your first day here. You've still got time.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, annoyed.

- She's... Running around in my head, he admitted. She intrigues me. I want to help her overcome her problems, which she doesn't talk about but which are obvious. I want to help her overcome her old scars, to show her that the world isn't always the hell she knew as a kid... I'd like to hear her speak for the first time, I'd like to help her discover the joy of being with people you love. But then, I find it hard to understand why I feel this way when I hardly know her. I'm at a loss.

A short silence followed his confession, while Chan gave him a kind smile.

- Aaah, my little Lix, are you really asking yourself that ? Isn't it obvious to you ?

- What's that ? replied Felix, returning the smile.

- Lix, you're a person with a big heart ; someone so wounded by life can't leave you indifferent, and even less so because she lives with your family.

- Stop complimenting me, you'll make me blush, joked Felix, a little embarrassed by this sudden affection.

- And then, you know, love comes out of nowhere ! Chan said to lighten the mood.

- AAAH BUT I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T THAT !