All Of My Silences Will Be Your Words [English Vers. - FINISHED]

Chapter Fifteen

- Leave with Sae-Jin ? His mother repeated, turning to him.

She looked at him in surprise, wondering if he'd lost his mind. Felix supported her gaze, shaking his head.

- I've thought it through. And she agrees, of course, I spoke to her about it this morning.

- Yes, yes, I'm sure, but my question is why ? Insisted her mother.

- Well, Sae and I are... A couple, he mumbled, avoiding his mother's gaze.

- WHAT ?!

Felix gasped and turned to face Olivia, who was staring at him open-mouthed. Rachael giggled, sitting at the kitchen table.

- You're really slow on the uptake, old girl, she commented.

- Wait... Mom, you knew too ?! Olivia exclaimed, turning to her mother.

Felix glanced at her, not doubting for a moment that she had already noticed the connection between him and Sae-Jin.

- I suspected it, let's say, she replied simply.

- It was as plain as the nose on your face, Rachael pressed her happily.

- Anyway, that's not the point, cut in their mother before Olivia could reply.

Felix turned his attention back to her, pursing his lips. He knew his decision was sudden and rushed ; he hadn't even managed to find a plane for today, and he'd have to wait until tomorrow morning! However, even though he had already thought of taking Sae with him to Korea, it was she who had asked him about it on his notebook. Like his mother at that moment, he was initially surprised by her request.

- You're not... Apprehensive about Korea because of your origins ? He had remarked, astonished.

She didn't think long before writing down her answer.

No, it's all right. I have no memory of my childhood in Korea. The only thing I'm worried about is the airport. But with you, I'll be fine.

Felix pouted.

- Are you sure about this ? He insisted. I don't want you to strain yourself on my account. We might as well keep in touch by text and call each other, while we continue to get to know each other, and I come back to Australia afterwards.

Although he didn't know when his next trip to Australia would be, he had remarked to himself. But after all, even if having to leave so soon disappointed him, wasn't it better this way ? What if he took her away and she didn't feel right, not at home or out of place, and preferred to go back to Australia ? She'd already suffered enough, she didn't need to start all over again in Korea just to be with him. If she did, Felix would still prefer she did it for herself, not for him.

A small hand had then rested on his cheek, with infinite gentleness, bringing him back to reality. Sae-Jin had looked at him tenderly, silently, with her smile that he found so pretty and bewitching. So reassuring.

- Sorry, I digress, he apologized as she handed him her notebook.

Don't worry, if I think I'll be okay, then I'll be okay. I know my limits.

- But... He wanted to protest, before she stopped him by putting a finger over his mouth.

She had then quickly written a few sentences, which he had read behind her shoulder.

You're asking me to wait nicely here, when I've spent my life waiting, sitting in front of my bedroom window at the orphanage, for something to finally happen to me ? For once I can live my life, and I like it, I don't feel like waiting to see you again. I'd rather follow you and have no regrets, whatever happens.

Felix had noticed that this was one of the first times she'd spoken about herself, about the orphanage and her life before ; these few sentences had finally convinced him without him finding anything to object to. After all, wasn't she right about everything ? Why wait if they were ready ?

- I don't think Sae-Jin is really ready to face a new world on her own. I remind you that you're coming back there to work ; where do you think she'll be, during your days ? Sighed his mother, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

Felix held his breath ; even though he suspected that his mother would object, at least initially, to their plan, he didn't know what to say to convince her. He was also aware that she was right. No one knew how Sae-Jin would react to being left alone for days on end, in an unknown country where she didn't even know the language !

- I know you're right, he replied softly, but... Don't you think Sae can decide for herself ? She's old enough for it, despite what she's been through. He tried.

- I'm not questioning Sae-Jin's judgment, big guy. But imagine five minutes if it doesn't go well and she finds herself alone, with no one to contact ? You won't be able to split yourself in two to manage your work and Sae's anxiety attacks.

- Lix, Mum's right, interjected Rachael. Even if you want to stay together, you're going to have to make a reasonable choice.

- I say it's possible, Olivia nuanced, interjecting in her turn.

Felix turned to her with a raised eyebrow. He didn't think anyone would support his idea.

- You know, Olivia continued, Sae-Jin has been smiling more and more since she's been with us, but since Felix arrived it's even more obvious ! She managed to have fun with us in the snow when she'd never done it before and didn't understand the principle, she LAUGHS... It's not the same as when we first met her at the orphanage, Mum.

- You're not wrong, Rachael mused. Even her eyes have changed. Before, she looked like she was waiting to be attacked by professional killers, but now she's much calmer.

Their mother looked at them in silence, pursing her lips. Felix knew it wasn't an easy decision to make, but seeing her think it over without making a categorical decision after hearing their different points of view gave him a little hope.

- I'll have to talk to your father first, she finally says. He has to give us his opinion too.

Rachael turned to look at the time on the wall clock.

- He should be home soon ; he'd said he'd be here before lunch.

- So that's it, Dad always sides with Mum, grumbled Olivia, disappointed.

- Not this time.

Felix gasped, along with his two sisters and his mother. What the... ?

- Did you hear the voice too ? Olivia squeaked, turning her head from side to side to find out where the voice was coming from. Do you think it's a ghost ?

- Nonsense, sighed Rachael. Stop watching soap operas, it's dumbing you down.

- Hey, why am I getting the crap kicked out of me in this episode ?

- Ask the author, not me.

- Will you shut up ! Felix hissed, putting his ear to the ground.

He was sure the voice had spoken again. The room fell silent.

- I was saying, while you were bickering, that I'm not a ghost, but I'm just sitting on the sofa in the living room listening to you. The voice said softly.

Felix blinked several times before he understood.

- Sae ? He sighed, turning back to the kitchen door.

She was flushed, sitting on the sofa, and gave him an embarrassed little wave.

- I didn't mean to frighten you, sorry. She added shyly.