!!!TW!!!
mentions of sh, suicide and abuse
_________________________________________Ive been best friends with bill for ages and over the years i started liking him, It was one of my biggest secrets that i would never tell him or anyone...along with the secret about my dad. Hes abusive, Ever since my mum died hes started drinking more and hitting me because he thinks its my fault she died. I know its not my fault but i still feel a little guilty everytime i think about it and sometimes it gets so bad that i harm myself to relieve my feelings.
I put on a tight long sleeved shirt that revealed my belly piercing and i looked at myself in my mirror, i scanned my outfit before i noticed my sleeves slowly riding up my arms revealing my scars. Immediately i grab a baggy hoodie and put it on, I couldn't risk letting anybody see my scars.
After doing my makeup and all that i realised it was 7:20, school starts in 10 minutes and i was walking today. I quickly rush downstairs and put my converses on before swiftly grabbing my bag and heading out the door.
I finally arrived at school and let out a quiet sigh before i hear someone yelling my name, i look around and my eyes land on bill who was already looking at me, A wide smile spread across his face and he was waving at me excitedly. My face lit up and i smile as i walk towards him.
As i reach him i reach my arms out widely to which bill immediately wraps his arms around my waist tightly as he buries his head into my shoulder, he slightly lifts my feet off the ground but i dont mind and i continue to hug him back tightly."N/N i missed you" he mumbles into my shoulder as he slowly puts me back down on the ground and softens his grip on me, I giggle quietly.
"Bill we saw eachother yesterday, but i missed you to" I say to him while laughing quietly, He slightly pulls away from the hug but still with his arms around me loosely as he just rolls his eyes jokingly. We have art together first period so we stop hugging and start walking to the art room, we walk through the door and my eyes scan the room filled with students in aprons?
I think to myself about it for a second as me and bill sit down at a table, Suddenly my thoughts are cut short by my teacher,"Y/N we are painting today so you will need to take your hoodie off and get an apron" She said to me before walking off, When she says that i get nervous..what if somebody sees my scars? I slowly take my hoodie off making sure that my sleeves dont go up, I put on an apron and start painting as bill does the same. A couple minutes pass and i was now laughing with bill about something, i completely forget about my scars until i realise bill wasnt laughing anymore but he a worried and confused expression. I raise an eyebrow,
"Bill what are you looking a-" I followed to where his eyes were staring as i asked him that and i immediately stop talking. My sleeves rolled up slightly revealing a couple of my scars. I drop my paint brush and quickly pull my sleeve down as i stand up and rush to the bathroom, My eyes start to water and my breathing gets heavier. I decided to skip the rest of school because i dont think i could handle talking to bill knowing that he saw my scars.
It was now 8:47 pm, i had been lying in bed all day because my dad was in the living room drunk. I wanted to go for a walk so i got dressed into some baggy jeans with a tank top and a jersey overtop. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and my lighter and shoved them in my pocket, I was pretty sure my dad was passed out drunk but i wasnt gonna risk going down there just incase he was still awake so i climbed out my window and carefully jumped onto the grass. I checked my phone and saw 67 missed calls from bill along with 100+ messages from him, I felt bad ignoring him but i was scared to tslk to him after he saw the scars. I was scared of what he'd think, I was scared of what he'd say.
I walked through the town by myself before i decided i would go to one of my favorite spots that me and bill discovered together. I headed over to the building and started climbing the old ladder that had always been how me and bill got up there, As i reached the rooftop of the building i felt the cold breeze against my face immediately. I walked towards the edge but still very far away from it. I took a deep breath as i looked down from the rooftop, All the lights from the town and the small people walking around..In a way it seemed to make me feel calm.
I light a cigarette and take a couple long drags, i drop it on the ground and put it out with my shoe.
I slowly walk closer to the edge as i slip my jersey off, Tears roll down my cheek but i ignore them as i get closer to the edge. I hear faint rattling from way behind me but i dont care, I was now on the edge, staring down at everything beneath me. I take a deep but sharp breath as my foot slowly edges forward, Suddenly I hear someone cry my name out making me stop and take a small step back immediately."Y/N! Please dont! I need you!.." The voice cries out, I recognise that voice. It was bill. I turn around quickly and burst into tears as i slowly sink to my knees, while i bury my face in my hands.
*Bills pov*
I rush towards her as she falls to her knees. As soon as I reach her i drop to my knees and hug her tightly, bringing her close to my chest. I begin to cry as i keep replaying what i just saw in my head, The girl that i had spent all my time with, the girl that has been by my side through everything, the girl that I Loved standing at the edge of the building, about to take her own life.
We sat like this for a while before i broke the silence,
"Y/N...Never leave me...please, I need you and I always will." I whisper to her as my voice begins to crack,
"Why did you do that to yourself..why would you want to end your own life when you have so much to live for.." As soon as those words escape my lips i cant help but start crying again as i hold her tighter.
"bill..im so sorry.." She mumbles quietly into my chest as she grips onto me tighter aswell.
*End of Bills pov*
We began to calm down again and i finally told him everything, about my dad and why i hurt myself. It felt so good to finally let all my feelings out, to finally tell somebody about everything going on.
I watched his eyes tear up for a third time as he pulled me into another hug, His fingers ran through my hair and he rubbed circles on my back slowly,
"I love you" he whispered into my ear, my heart skipped a beat. Those were the exact words i thought hed never say to me. I hugged him even tighter before whispering back to him,
"I love you to bill, You saved me"
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Kaulitz twin imagines
RomanceA few short or long imagines about tom kaulitz and bill kaulitz!