Chasing Elysian

33. Open Up, Dearie

Rosanna's P. O. V:

“Which talent did you unlock?” Kairos asked, his chin atop my head while I tried not to pinch his firm toned thighs.

They looked so good with those black pants hugging them. That obvious strain while he flexed his long model legs and when he stretched them out.

I never knew thighs could be so attractive.

And oh boy, his chest-- although poor quality for a head rest, it was very firm and I could feel rocky defined abdomens through his blue t-shirt.

I wanna exploreeee! But no. I'm not a pervert nor is it mine to touch- note the sadness.

Or glee.

Is having Kairos as a companion a good thing? Except for his looks, what does he have? Oh yes; title, power and so forth. But when lost Kairos' quality becomes... Becomes different.

His personality might not do the trick. Won't attract as much women or make his actions valid without his background. But isn't his actions propelled by his background?

“What are you thinking?” Yeah, the f*ck am I thinking?

My point is-- looks, finances, power and all what we call materialistic in the realm of love, isn't that genuinely what makes people attracted? Isn't it all just apart?

Personality does not always fill in all the gaps, does it? As sad as it may-- to the people whose circumstances were not defined by their hands.

Just, one cannot live with personality alone.

But it doesn't stop me from judging that the things that lead to things could have just not lead to things.

I-it's complicated. And I'm doing it again.

When I see someone attractive, someone likeable, someone special, I just wonder that if they'd lost a certain quality-- would they ever be as valuable?

People do not fall in love because they wish to, not under some omnipotent life long spell. They fall in love because they choose to.

But what if the things they choose to love fades away, will the love also fade? Then they stop loving that particular human.

This is why loving another is an individual risk we should all be aware of. It's not all fairy tales to hand your heart down in a golden platter for someone whose feelings are ever prone to change.

“Rosanna?”

I'm not hopelessly romantic to believe a person would love a soul. They could love everything that makes a person who they are. An individual can love me for being me.

But if all that makes me, me gets taken away, do I still get that ‘pure, true love'? Is there a love directed at a person's existence before quality?

Here comes my trust issues. Humans, intelligent creatures alike, are ever changing and adapting. Love for today is not love forever. And I don't live for the present.

The things I might hold as secure realities are soon becoming past events and the future is prone to changes. Would I have it all now and have it all then?