Nasa sahig si Ella, binabasa ang isang magazine kung saan ang Papa niya ang nasa cover. Matagal bago siya binitawan ni Zefran parang takot na takot itong mawala si Ella but she assured him. "Dito lang ako, Papa. Read ko lang 'yung magazine po." Sabay turo sa magazine na nasa lamesa, "Don't worry Papa, I won't leave po. Dito lang ella, promise." He kissed her forehead before letting her go.
He sighed. Magkatabi ngayon si Zefran at Naya. Parehas walang imik. Parehas nakatingin sa anak. Parehong nangangapa kung ano ba ang dapat pag-usapan but Zefran has a lot of questions in mind and he needed answers.
"Therese," mahina pero may diin na tawag niya rito.
Napayuko naman si Naya sa kaba. Therese kasi ang tawag ni Zefran sa kanya sa tuwing galit ito o kaya may hindi siya magandang nagawa.
"Bakit?" Mahinang sabi niya. "Why did you not tell me?" Naya bit her lip, afraid that whatever her answer is, he would take Ella away from her.
"Kasi natakot ako, Zef." A tear fell from her eyes, "Naduwag ako e."
Zefran frowned. "Natakot? Saan? Why would you be scared of telling me the truth?" Sunod-sunod na sabi niya. "That's my child. Out child, Naya. I would gladly take a bullet for the both of you. But you.." Hindi na natuloy ni Zef ang sasabihin nang makitang umiiyak si Naya.
Masakit. Masakit para sa kanya na makitang ganito ang babaeng mahal niya.
He held her face and wiped her tears. "I love you Keinaia. I love you more than anything else in this world. Ikaw lang, mula noon hanggang ngayon."
"Ako rin Zef, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita pero nauna 'yung takot ko." Mahinang sagot niya. "Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko na ba talaga. I saw myself being so dependent on you. Na parang sayo na umikot ang mundo ko, na pati paghinga ko hawak mo." Umiiyak na sabi nito habang tahimik na nakikinig si Zefran.
He knew she needed to let go of this.
"Everything revolves around you, but you... you were starting your own name. Hindi natin magawang umalis na walang takot, na baka may makakita sa atin and that will ruin your career. It felt like we're having an illicit affair, a forbidden one." Paliwanag niya.
"Laging nagtatago, laging tinatago. We can't be seen in public, everything about us was hidden." Napahinga siya ng malalim, "You know I support you in everything right? And I know you're just doing that to protect me but somehow I got scared." Nakagat niya ang labi niya at nilalaro ang mga kamay.
"Nakipaghiwalay ako sayo kasi mahal kita. Ayokong nahihirapan ka dahil sa 'kin. Umalis ako dahil duwag ako and I regret that everyday. I don't know where to start especially when Ella came. Mas lalo akong natakot, hindi pa ako handa. Hindi pa tayo handa. Nalaman ng parents ko and they disowned me, that I'm a fucking disappointment." Huminga siya ng malalim.
"Magulo, ang gulo-gulo ng isip at puso ko. But everytime I see news about you chasing your dream, nasabi ko sa sarili ko na that was a good decision. At least kahit isa sa atin, maayos ang buhay, hindi kita mahihila pababa."
"Ella was the only reason for living. Sa kanya ako kumuha ng lakas. I had no one but Ella." She sighed, "Jandro helped us, Zef." Napatingin si Zefran sa kanya.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano pero nahanap niya 'ko. Halos nagmakaawa ako sa kanya not to tell you, gustong gusto niyang bumalik ako sayo pero sabi ko 'wag na, ayokong guluhin ka pa. Simula noon he catered to all our needs," Zefran looked hurt and betrayed but he kept quiet and let Naya finished.
Tinignan ni Naya si Zefran. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for running away, for leaving you and for not letting you know about Ella." Zefran silently stood up and kissed Ella's cheeks before walking away. Naya was left dumbfounded and sighed in defeat.
I guess he'll never forgive me.
