Awake and alive

Part 1

//vote//

Y/n pov

i was laying down on the bathroom floor it was cold and the water was leaking I didn't know what to do I just had a fight with my mom
'I wish I was dead' I thought
It's not impossible to kms tho I mean I've tried before it's not that hard

I looked at the sharper and I thought 'no please not again' I told my self I begged god to not

I had no other choice I really wanted to feel something

I grab the sharper and made art across my thighs
I was thinking about what just happened with my mom as I cut deeper

'Not enough I thought'
I stopped and looked at my thighs 'shit I don't feel anything' I thought

I grabbed the sharper again
I cut my both thighs and it was bleeding hard
and  I didn't stopped because I couldn't I just didn't want to stop

I wanted to kill myself i wanted to cut every part of my body o wanted to erase my body from this world I hated my self more than anything else I was just wishing that I could stop and just die

I looked at myself in the mirror my ugly face my nose my eyes my lips my face shape I hated it all I wish that I could erase it from this world and there was one way to make that possible

'I'm not even sorry mom' I said as I silted my wrist god damn I closed my eyes for like five minutes but it felt like forever

I opened my eyes again
The floor was all blood I was shocked 'what should I do? What have I done? Why am I even alive'
that's what I thought

I've never seen so much blood in my life time
I was so scared what if my parents find out even if they do it's not like they care? But what if they do idc anymore

I just lay down again looking at my wrist shit it was all blood and my thighs? I lost a lot of blood
I wanted to cry I wanted to at least feel sad I just couldn't

I was drained

How did I end up like this you ask? Let me tell you

Y/n pov

'she's pretty' i said as I looked at nova
Nova smiled 'not as you' she blinked at me
'Shut up whore' I said while laughing

I've known nova since elementary school and she has been my bestie since then
and in

2017 I bought an iPad so I could talk to her all the time and we got so close in 2021? I found out that we both are in love with each other then we dated
We loved each other till she went to summer school I didn't go because I was smart
Then we broke up and we didn't talk again

'I look so fat' as I looked at the mirror
I cried so much my eyes were red
i searched on YouTube 'how to get skinny'
I tried diets i was young so young

'I look fat' i looked at myself in the mirror
i start crying screaming I even broke the mirror
'I hate myself' I thought I just wanted to kill myself

Then

I was on tiktok
Scrolling down

I found a comment funny I liked it and followed a random girl named rina

She followed me back we start talking
'LETS BE FRIENDS U SEEM SO FUNNY? MY NAME IS Y/N'
'And I'm rina nice to meet you'
'such a beautiful name'
'It's beautiful like you'
'You trying to flirt with me?'
'Maybe? U have Instagram?'
'YEAH'

We followed each other on Instagram

'I'm in a very cool gc why don't you join???' Says rina
'Okay maybe for few days' says y/n
'Why?'
'I'm not gonna live that long' y/n was actually staring at her phone with teary eyes as she send that msg

I mean she knew
That she won't make it tho

.................................................................................

Thanks for reading my new story
New part every two days that means
25th June this part came out
Part two is coming out on 27th June