Awake and alive

Part 5

//vote//

Y/n pov 

Why are they even fighting
I msg Camila and nova the same shit
'Bro just apologize it Aint that Deep'

They both said that it wasn't their fault
And nova told me that she was searching for a reason to block Camila and nova still played the victim

And a really tall girl came to my school she was playing in nationals her name was evara
She was really cool and she become the popular girl of the school because of her height and we had basketball club at school

And she chose me for her team at that time I kinda liked her and we were just practicing Everytime my teammates told me how bad I was I felt so bad about it and also insecure 24/7

I came to that point I didn't wanted to be alive no more I just didn't felt enough I start cutting even more and not eating I had no energy in me plus seeing belina? Life couldn't get any worse I loved belina more than anything

For the next day
my bsf came I invited her to our practice and she practiced with us evara become friends with nova

And since my best friend was also famous for her hair and evara was famous they become pretty close to that point I knew that she backstabbed me with her

I felt jealous of evara
I wanted to kill myself I mean she wasn't really pretty or attractive but she was so cool she was skinny tall a little bit tan and had a great personality
Everyone wanted to be her friend but dawg

Evara hated me sm
I mean who wouldn't? I also hate myself
I knew I wasn't exactly pretty but they shouldn't have pointed out like that it kinda made me feel so numb I wanted to kill myself

I always had this feelings in my chest it felt like a black hole and it just make me feel hurt? And made me want to kill myself and disappear from this world

Everytime I had this feelings I would've cut deeper
That deep that my scars wouldn't go away for like two or three weeks

A lot of things left me in this world but not my scars they went through everything with me and they made my body feel like a peace of art

On nova's birthday she said 'wanna hang out?' I really wanted to go but I was grounded 'nova I'm grounded' she went out with her other friends (two random person we both know)

and from that day she become really really cold with me and I bet she thought that I'm lying about being grounded

My birthday is like 2 weeks away from hers
It was my birthday

I msg her 'LETS GO OUT'
She said 'no I'm grounded'
I knew she was lying to me
After 4 hours she said
'Happy birthday'
I went out with her exactly same friends

On my way to back home I saw nova and Lue together hanging out I went and said hi we took photos and I went back home I didn't said anything I didn't wanted to lose nova

I called Camila and told her the crazy shit just happened and we were both shocked
After that I found out Lue blocked me cuz nova said so
Shit continued till 12th April

It was Camila birthday
I posted her on my story
Then nova replayed to my story
'Don't ever talk to me again'

I said 'Bro u hang out with Lue 24/7 I didn't even said a thing'
' don't even try to talk' she blocked me

.....................
New part coming out on 5th July