Toxic Secrets

Chapter 12- Daddy Issues

*3 weeks later*

Life has been so crazy on tour. We've been gone for 21 days and 20 of those days were spent performing. I'm missing LJ like crazy though. He's been sending me stupid pictures of him doing stuff. It helps a little but I still miss him.

A week ago, we played in Las Vegas. Boy, we had a blast. The girls and I ended up getting tattoos of our band on our rib cages. I sent a picture to LJ and he was so happy. He said, and I quote, "so glad you've came to the dark side my love. We will be getting more tats." Our stylist, Stella, has gotten really close with us and she's become one of us at this point.

Todays the day that we play in Detroit. "Mil, you got this! All of our families are coming too. Don't be too hard on yourself!" Val says giving me a reassuring hug. The songs we are playing today are insane. I hope that the crowd enjoys.

Most of my family issues are rooted within my fathers resentment toward me. I contoured to love and play music even when he "forbid it". I'm the devils child in his eyes. He still loves me and i know that but, it's hurts seeing his facebook with my siblings. His cover photo is only the 4 of my siblings without me.

We walk out onto the stage and my nerves are kickin. I look out into the crowd and sure enough, my whole family is there, dad included. I also see... no it can't be. Levi, Jonny D, C-Mac and Mitch standing with each others family. Levi has my little sister, Emma on his shoulders as she's cheering up a storm.

"Hey everyone, tonight we are starting off with a cover, i'm sure you guys know this song ."
We start to play Head Will Roll by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Off, off with your head
Dance, dance til you're dead (dead)
Heads will roll
Heads will roll
Heads will roll
On the floor

I start jumping around on stage, walking over to Lottie as she is shredddinngggg guitar. We finish the song and the crowd erupts. All of my family except my dad start cheering along with the crowd.

I take a second to recognize that my family is here. "So as many of you guys know, I was born and raised here in Michigan!! So my beautiful family is here to support me. I love you all endlessly. Along with my 3 adopted families!!" The crowd cheer again.

We start our second song is "Scream". Again the crowd loved it. We finish off our set with a song dedicated to my dad. Only he'd never know it. "This song goes out to anyone who has daddy issues." We start the intro to Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood.

Go ahead and cry, little girl
Nobody does it like you do
I know how much it matters to you
I know that you got daddy issues
And if you were my little girl
I'd do whatever I could do
I'd run away and hide with you
I know that you got daddy issues

I'm singing this to my younger self right now. Life isn't fair and I know that. Singing is my escape. I'm sobbing now, ruining my makeup. I don't even care, I need to let this burden of my dad off my chest.

I look out into the crowd and it was like a switch had flipped in him. My dad was now sobbing along with me. He realized how hard he was on me. Nothing between us was solved but now he understood what he was doing to me. His oldest daughter. His baby girl.

The show ends with all four of my band mates hugging and crying into each other. I love these girls so much. We walk off stage so Henderson Care can start. Before Brandy and Jaylynn walk on stage, they give me a huge group hug. "We are so proud of you, Millie." They both say before walking out into stage.

The boys somehow convinced security to let them through to our dressing room. "Hi baby. I'm so beyond proud of you. I was tearing up listening to you sing that song. I love you with my whole heart." Levi says, while pulling me into a deep hug and kissing my forehead.

"Your parents want to see you guys. " Deanna says as she walks into our dressing room. I pull myself together and fix my makeup. We make the boys stay in the room to have some alone time with our parents. My mom is standing there waiting with my dad.

I run over and hug her. She runs her fingers through my long straightened hair. "We are so proud of you, my beautiful girl. I know we were so hard on you when you left but now we can see how much this means to you." My mom says through tears.

I move to my dad next. He just holds me in his arms. "My gosh, Amelia Jeanette, you can really sing. Your last song is where it hit me. My daughter, my beautiful daughter, is gonna be famous. I know we have had our differences and I know i've been so hard on you, but i still love you so much, Millie."

That was where I broke, I was sobbing uncontrollably. Once my dad let go of me, my mom and him explained how they wanted to take my siblings, my boyfriend and I out for dinner. I agree, naturally because my support will be there with me.

I walk back to the dressing room to grab Levi and my phone before walking back out. I told the girls my plans and they seemed really happy for me. The security follows us since Levi and I going out we need it. We get to this fancy restaurant. We get inside and my siblings start asking 1000 questions about tour. Which I happily answer.

We finish up dinner and I say goodbye to my family. Not before giving hugs and kisses to everyone, even my dad. They all loved Levi, they said he was a nice boy and they approve of him. Levi and I make it back to the hotel. The boys all booked at the same hotel as us.

"You did great today, Amelia. Tour is almost over. Goodnight my love sweet dreams.We have a special day planned for tomorrow." He kisses my forehead and leaves me stranded at the my hotel room door. I open up and MJ is sprawled out in our bed. "Madalyn, move over. You need to share." She mumbled something and rolls over. I climb into bed with her thinking of the night.

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Authors note: I love this chapter so much. One of my favs.

I wrote a second "book". It's more of like an imagined type deal. But it's all of the band members instagrams if you want to check it out!!

Don't forget to Vote and drink your water!!

As always,

Ari <3