Finding Yourself: Book Three

Chapter Thirteen: Blue

Nick never ate well when he was in a bad headspace. Some people stress ate, but Nick didn't feel like eating anything at all when he was stressed.

He didn't have anything to train his muscles, unlike the at-home gym provided by Xavier. So, the next day, he opted for working out in the living room to release all of his pent-up emotions. Since he didn't eat and barely slept the night before, he was having a hard time merely doing fifteen pushups. It didn't help that Jason and Jordon were climbing all over him while he was trying to exercise. 

Actually, the two toddlers loved to ride on Nick's back while he did his push-ups, as if Nick was some kind of horse. Normally, he wouldn't mind- it just helped him get stronger. But he was so tired, both emotionally and physically.

And then he went to work in the evening. 

He felt like his body was on autopilot the entire day of work. He even refused to sit down during his break time. What would he do during his break otherwise? He wasn't going to eat dinner.

Jonathan was actually a welcomed distraction. It turned out that the teen loves drama and had plenty of stories to tell that distracted Nick from his own problems. Nick listened attentively while baking the bread and brewing coffee. Nick allowed his mind to go thoughtless, like a robot. 

Then, when he arrived back home, he did the same. He smiled for the kids, he cooked tomorrow's dinner, and he even ordered the twins' birthday cake over the phone. He played princesses with Bianca and Maria, and even let Bianca slather his face with brightly colored makeup. But it was a routine, and by the time the kids were in bed, he felt even more exhausted. 

With only the dim bathroom light on, he wetted a towel to wash the makeup off his face. Nick was never a makeup person, but he had been Avil's personal mannequin before. He wasn't completely opposed to it, but it wasn't his style. Bianca had given him the brightest of blue eye shadow- which kind of made him look like a clown. 

"Blue is definitely not your color," Nick heard a chuckle from the door of the bathroom. It was from Vincent, who had been helping him all day. He tried not to think about Vincent or his kiss or the fact that he was abusing Vincent's kindness.

"What color do you think would look best on me?" Nick indulged, still scrubbing at his face. Avil kept all of his makeup wipes in his room, but Nick didn't want to bother him. 

"Hm," Vincent thought, "I wouldn't rely on my opinion. I am not a makeup person." Nick snorted, then looked away at the mirror to look at Vincent. Vincent gave him a small smile. "You've missed a lot," he commented, then he walked closer to Nick, "Need any help?" He held out his hand for the towel. Nick gave it to him.

Vincent brushed his fingers along Nick's chin, and he held Nick's face in place while he gently rubbed the towel over Nick's eyes. Nick allowed his eyes to close. Although his feelings for Vincent were undecided, that did not mean that he could not bask in the feeling of Vincent's warmth. He already associated the man with safety and trust. And sometimes, everyone needed at least a small amount of time with those feelings.

"There," Vince said with finality, and Nick opened his eyes. Vincent was close, but not nearly close enough for another kiss. Nick didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed. "So," Vince started, "Do you want to talk about what has made you upset today?"

"Huh?" was all Nick could say.

"Come on, Bun," Vincent said as if chiding Nick, "I can tell that you are off. Was it the talk that Elian had with you yesterday? Did he hurt you? Because if he did-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Nick cut him off. He really did not want to talk to Vincent about the kiss that they had. He didn't want to crush his best friend's hope, but he also didn't want to raise them. He especially didn't want to tell Vincent that Elian had a crush on him.