Finding Yourself: Book Three

Chapter Fifteen: Cursing

"F*ck. F*ck. F*ck. F*ck. F*ck," Nick whispered rapidly underneath his breath. He didn't want the kids to hear him cursing, but he didn't know what he was doing; he felt so frustrated that he almost felt like crying or ripping his hair out, and he wasn't entirely sure which action he wanted to take.

His hands were sticky with half-dried gel, and his hair was getting stiffer by the moment. Within that moment, his hair was quite literally a mess. He first tried just flattening his hair down. No luck, he made it too flat. And the shape wasn't quite right.

He then decided to try and shape his hair bit by bit, but he realized that he didn't know how to shape his hair or what hair should be shaped like. After that he decided to try a hair style that he often saw among the rich, with a big swoop at the front; however, after fiddling with his hair so long, that didn't turn out right. His hair looked like a f*cking mess, and he didn't know how to fix it. How was he supposed to make Xavier jealous with a crusty mop on his head?

"I'm going to have to start over," Nick realized, as he stared at himself in the mirror. But would starting over even help? What would he even try next?

Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door, and Vincent's voice grumbled through the wood, "Elian's here. Are you ready? Can we come in?"

Nick groaned in frustration in reply. 

"Are you...okay in there?" Vincent asked. Nick marched over to the door and swung it open. There, he saw Elian and Vincent standing together patiently. Elian said "Woah" in response to Nick suddenly opening the door, and then said "Oh dear" at the state of Nick's hair.

"Please, God, tell me if either of you are good at styling hair," Nick begged, a little embarrassed that he even had to ask for help. Vincent pointed at himself incredulously, as if asking Nick "Are you talking to me?"  Nick did admit that asking Vincent was a stretch. Vincent wore his hair up in a messy bun half the time.

"I can help," Elian responded with a smile, "But first, we need to wash the gel out of your hair."

Elian walked around Vincent into the bathroom, and Nick led the way. The bathroom was not very big, so it was a little cramped with two fully grown men in it. Elian positioned Nick in front of the sink, standing almost flush behind Nick.

Nick could feel the heat transferring from Elian's body to his back.

"Okay, there's no need for you to take another shower. So, just bend over and stick your head under the faucet. I'll wash it for you," Elian instructed. Nick bent over, although it was a little uncomfortable to stick his head under the faucet. Also, as he bent over, his *ss pushed into Elian, which caused him to blush.

Maybe Vincent was right. Maybe Nick needed to get laid. After twelve years of having a partner to have sex with, it almost felt unordinary to go months without it. Nick was depressed, and maybe lack of sex or closeness was part of the issue. Ony a very small part. 

He had been getting horny as the weeks had gone on.

It didn't help when Elian switched on the water, which hit Nick's head with cold water at first. The cold was replaced quickly with Elian's warm fingers that carded through Nick's hair with gentleness. It was so warm and gentle. It reminded Nick of when his mother was alive, and she would sit with him and sing him lullabies until he felt asleep.

Nick liked to be pet. He liked that comforting touch, and Xavier used to do it to them when they first got married. Nick stopped himself from thinking about it any further though, because he was going to make himself sad.

Upon stopping his thoughts of sadness, another thought appeared. He thought of lying beside Elian, on Elian's wide chest, and having the same fingers float through his hair while he fell asleep.