Finding Yourself: Book Three

Chapter Twenty-One: Fear

(Warning: NSFW after the page break)

"Oh," Elian thought to himself, "Well, that is a hard one to answer. Mainly because I have a lot of fears."

"Well then... tell me them," Vincent said. Elian looked at him with slight suspicion, as if he didn't believe that Vincent cared. Vincent shrugged in response and said, "What? Did you not say we were supposed to get to know each other on dates?"

Elian submitted to that response, and he took a deep breath. 

"Well," he sighed, "I used to be deathly afraid of public speaking, but I had to get over that fear because I knew I would have to do it a lot someday. My father owned a company, so I had to inherit it. I still get really nervous before a speech."

"Other than that," Elian continued, tracing his finger over the rim of his wine glass subconsciously, "Well, I am afraid even more of messing this whole business thing up. It was my father's creation, and it does a lot of good to people. I don't want to cause the downfall of all of that."

Vincent leaned forward from his relaxed position, and his eyes were more calculating. 

"That sounds like a lot of pressure," Vincent added. Nick nodded in agreement, but his focus was drifting off and wondering what exactly Vincent was thinking so hard about.

"It is," Elian nodded fervently, "I try my best, but I could never put as much passion into these things as my father did. He was better than me at business and pretty much everything else."

"Uh huh," said Vincent, almost knowingly. Then Vince held his head up straighter, and his voice got more assertive. "Elian, I know we don't know each other that well-"

"Well, yes, but I would like to know you more," Elian interrupted. Then, he realized he interrupted and said, "Continue."

"Anyway, I'm not much of a filter guy," Vincent said directly, "I'm also not much of a small-talk guy."

"I've noticed," Elian nodded to show he was listening.

"So, I'm going to ask you uncomfortable questions. And I want you to either tell me you are not comfortable answering or tell me the full truth. With no sweet talk," Vincent continued, "Are you okay with that? Because if not, I don't think we should date."

"I'm okay with that. I think, at least. I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve. So, I tell people everything," Elian nodded. A small pause of silence occurred, and Elian then said, "Are there any uncomfortable questions you would like to ask?"

"Yes, actually. Lots," Vincent nodded, "The first one is: Do you actually want to be a business owner? Or are you shackled by your father's responsibilities?" Elian's eyes went wide. 

"Uh," Elian chuckled nervously, tucking a curly lock behind his ear, "Huh...I guess I've never really talked to anybody about this. I guess... I don't exactly like being a business owner. It feels like I wasn't made for the job. It feels like I'm failing constantly, and I did say that I'm not very passionate about it. But it was all my father taught me, and it's all I really know. I never really allowed myself to be interested in anything else. So, I stick with this."

"And did you like your father when he was alive? I mean, I assume you did because you seem to talk so highly of him. But you would think that a good father would allow his kid to have a choice when it comes to his future," Vincent reasoned, sipping his wine again.

Elian opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it. Then closed it again.

"That... is a long story," Elian finally said. "I can tell it to you, but it is not exactly a good one. It might put a damper on the rest of the night."