mulan smith
• three days later•
"why yo panties inna bunch?" monté asked, walking towards our table with our food.
i glanced up at him with my face scrunched" nigga what?"
" you been quiet and grumpy since we got here" he said, shrugging.
" and you love in n out, so wassup?" he asked, nodded his head at me, taking a bite from his burger.
" nun just-" i sighed, giving up, taking one of my fries into my mouth.
" just what?" he asked, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin.
i just shrugged, staying quiet as i began grub into my burger.
again and as per usual, billie lingered in my mind.
i wasn't gone lie and say i wasn't still tight because i was.
especially when last night, i saw chris had posted on his story of him and laylay at a club and billie was in the back, with a bitch on her lap, whispering in her ear as she giggled.
the only way i figured that out because i screenshotted the story and zoomed in.
i sure did.
i even considered pulling up but then i remembered, she wasn't even mine to put allat energy into.
so i had no right to pull up and drag her by her ear, cussing her ass out for leaving me high and dry.
and it wasn't like i could forget about the situation and move on because the hoe left hickies from my jawline to my breast.
luckily, i knew how to cover hickies from experience but when it came to taking a shower, they was all i see.
and the thought of her presence made me warm inside.
remembering how her warm and soft hands caressed up and down my body.
the rasp and seductiveness in her tone as she whispered in my ear or against my neck.
the scent of her lingered under my nose, her fragrance not too sweet or too overbearing, just perfect.
but then i would remember, she was not mine! and i needed to stop before i found myself obsessing way too much.
i refused to do that to myself again-
falling in love with a person who isn't yours, ain't for the weak.
and with all honestly, it makes you look dumb and desperate.
it's such a overwhelming feeling- draining too.
because you sit there and daydream of a future between you guys, knowing it'll be nothing but a dream.
so, these past two days i been stuck in my mind. torturing myself for letting myself fall vulnerable under her.
i should've stood my ground but i didn't. the only way i could forgive myself if i was too get my lick back.
and make her feel the way i do.
swipe her lil smirk and cockiness in just a second.
make her feel vulnerable and dumb at the end, then go to a club the next day for other girls to be all over me.
oh- and leave hickies on her so she won't forget me.
the whole thought of it made me aggravated which is why my panties been inna bunch
