How You Really Are | Jearmin

Part 2 | Chapter 5

Seeing Jean being so vulnerable was a whole new and strange feeling.

He had seen him be vulnerable before, but never on that level. For Armin, who thought he was so pathetic and fragile, it was a new world to see his boyfriend, who had always seemed so strong and confident, break like this and, moreover, for something to which he had already developed an immunity.

It made him rethink a lot of things. Maybe he was stronger than he thought and maybe Jean wasn't as perfect as he thought, he could also collapse pathetically like he did and it was okay when someone needed to do that.

He liked knowing that Jean was closer to what he was, he felt somehow more human and not like an ideal. He liked to feel that they were on a more similar level. He liked to know what was hurting the Kirstein so he could help him like he always wanted others to help him.

It was good to see him, it helped him remember that he always made himself less than what he really was and that he put others on a pedestal; his mind used to distort those ideas very often until it was impossible for him to conceive of them as facts.

"I'm never going to want to get up if you keep looking at me like that and doing that," he mutters, referring to the way he was stroking her hair.

"I thought you wouldn't want to get up anyway," he says.

"I don't want to, I plan to stay like this all day." He closes his eyes.

"Okay, let's do that." He smiles at him and leans over to kiss his forehead. Jean wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer as he buries his head into his chest. "Do you have a hangover?" He asks, hugging him affectionately and still stroking his hair.

"No."

"You feel bad?"

"Like shit," he admits.

"Okay, we don't have to get up today." He kisses his head.

"... I don't think I'll ever be able to see Connie again in my life after last night," he confesses.

"I know you can deal with that, love," he whispers, close to his ear, snuggling with him.

"Can I ask something?"

"Tell me."

"I would never have been able to notice that you had anxiety, how do you manage to control it? Is it the medication?"

"Well, medication is only given in more serious cases, but to deal with anxiety there are several normal methods such as maintaining a good diet, having a regular sleep pattern, doing physical activity and relaxation exercises.

""In addition to avoiding caffeine, alcohol and nicotine. I think you're doing well, you don't drink much or drink much coffee, your diet is not that unbalanced from what I've seen. I think you should only try relaxation exercises."

"Just like that?"

"You'd be surprised how much putting your life in order can help, even the most mundane things."

"Is that how you handle it?"

"Yeah, well, with therapy. It really helps, you know? If you allow me to comment, I think it would be best if you go to the school psychologist."

"I'm going with her, you know. Thanks to the stupid conflict with Floch."

"I know, I also know that you never talk to her."

"Armin..."

"It's not bad to go to therapy, Jean. Don't say it like it's a bad thing. I know it's annoying when they force you to go but you don't have to have a disorder like mine for it to be good, it can help you a lot. Without therapy I would live destroyed, you know?"