How You Really Are | Jearmin

Part 2 | Chapter 6

Being stuck in the infirmary again, taking medication, with the worried faces of his friends all around him; yeah, that was fucking disappointing.

He was doing so well, he was improving so much. He didn't understand why he always had to end up falling over and over again.

"Why didn't you tell us about your grandfather?" Mikasa asks, stroking his hair.

"Ouch. Do not do that please. It hurts," the blond mumbled, gently moving his head away.

Mikasa took a look at his scalp and gently moved his hair. His skin was irritated and there were areas with a little less hair than others, although you had to pay close attention to notice it.

"Excuse me," she says.

"Armin?" Eren draws his attention, referring to the previous question.

"It just happened so fast," he mutters. "I wasn't well last night." He couldn't call anyone even if he wanted to.

"You should have told us today." He rubs his shoulder, affectionately.

"Are you scared?" Mikasa asks, in a sweet tone.

"... A lot," he blurts out, tired.

"Hey, nothing's going to happen. Your grandfather is like the best person in the world and he's not that old, he was always very permissive and open-minded, and he loves you more than anything."

"You didn't see his reaction, Eren..." he spoke exhausted. "It was no different from the way the guys see me here. It's even worse, he looks so disappointed." Tears fall from his eyes.

"He's not going to stop loving you for that."

"It's easier for you, Mikasa," he blurts out. "In the field that causes homophobia in people like my grandfather, non-heterosexual women are much more accepted; people would not assume your role while everyone always assumes that I am at the bottom, which is even worse; your guardian is also openly bisexual in addition. My situation is not like yours..."

He didn't want to detract from her or her support, he didn't want to be rude, but he knew she was following her own experience and that wasn't helpful to him because it definitely wasn't what he was going through. It was downright infuriating that she treated both cases as the same even though they weren't, because they just weren't... In his current state, he couldn't help it.

"You're right, sorry."

"You don't have to think negative. It's hard for him but that doesn't mean all is lost. He can learn about all of this. He has always made those efforts for you. Have some faith in him."

"... And if it's not like that this time?"

"I don't think it is, I think there's nothing in the world that can make him stop loving you."

"And even in the worst case scenario, you're not alone. Levi would have no problem supporting you."

"And my parents already know about you and Mikasa, they've never treated them differently. You are like two more children to them. You know that you always have a place with us, there is space in my house."

"And this is just the worst case scenario, yes? It does not have to happen and in fact it is unlikely. He loves you, Armin. He's not going to hate you for this."

Armin cringes and his body is still shaking a little. He covered his face as his eyes burned so hot he could barely open them.

"Thank you," he just says, because he doesn't have the strength to continue talking or even thinking about all that, he just wants to thank them for their support as best he can. Which is not easy with how bad he felt in every part of his body and how his brain was still working at a thousand kilometers per hour.