Nothing to Loose, But You - JJ Maybank

32: Barry im not okay

The four of us are standing around a tree at the Chateau making a memorial for John B. It makes me kinda sad that we aren't doing anything for Sarah, she was a Pogue. She's always wanted to live the Pogue life.

"To John B." JJ says as we all have tears in our eyes.

"And to Sarah." Kie adds. Atleast someone liked her, I guess the boys weren't very close with her.

We buried some things that we had with John B and some of his stuff. I added a friend ship bracelet from when we were 6. I wear mine everyday, now John B's is in the ground.

•

"Shoupe." I say walking into his office.

"You can't just barge in here kid." He says standing from his desk.

"I was there." I whisper.

"You were where?"

"I saw Ward Cameron and Johnathan Tiara arrive at my house with blood on their hands." I say sitting down.

"Evelyn whose blood was it?" He asks starting to write things down.

"Big Johns..."

"Why haven't you said anything sooner?" He asks.

"I was scared." I say telling the truth. "It's not every day where you're 'dad' kills you're actual dad." I say softly laughing at my words.

"Evelyn, I think you're upset over there deaths and you're probably high. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"What?" I question standing up and following him out of his office. "I'm not high."

"Yes you are." He says as he then enters a room I'm not supposed to go into. I sigh and walk away. No point in trying to get him to believe me.

•

"Hey kid." Barry says as I walk into the house. I walk past him and go straight to my room. "Eve! Get out here!" Barry yells.

I walk out of my room and look at him.

"Sit down. We have to talk." He says patting the seat next to him.

"What's up?" I ask sitting down next to him.

"I found the knife." My heart drops. I loose all emotion to my face and look at him. "Let me help you kid."

I stare at him until I feel the tears spill out of my eyes. "Barry I'm not okay. I'm telling everyone I'm okay and putting on a fake smile but I'm not."

"Oh kid." He says as he pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I should have told you I was hurting myself. I just can't do this Barry."

"Please don't commit suicide. So many people love you and need you. Hell if you died I would commit." He says pulling away and looking at me.

"You and JJ are the only reason I'm still here. I should have told you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Barry, I'm sorry." I say breaking down in tears.

"It's okay. I'll try and help just please stop." He says wiping away my tears. "Wanna watch TV?" He asks me. I smile at his words.

I get up and get a tub of ice cream and two spoons. We sit on the couch and watch Stranger things.

"Eve." He says. I look up at him to hear what he has to say. "I think you should tell JJ eventually."

"I will." I say shaking my head yes.

"Cause I won't always be around. This drug dealer shit is coming back at me and biting me in the ass. You need someone who can help you."

"I'll tell him, I promise."