lost in love (Jawan Harris / Roc Royal)

Chapter 19

WARNING: depressed mood, depressed chapter :/ I cried at the end :( sorry guise.

It's Saturday, four days after Valentines day. Jawan and I are sitting criss cross apple sauce on my bed, playing 20 questions. Fun right? "So, if you had to choose Inbetween saving my life, or yours, who would you choose?" I looked at Jawan at thought about it for a minute. The answer is clear. I love Jawan so much, he's amazing. Seeing him happy brings me so much joy. Yes, we've been dating for about 3 or 4 months now (since December for those who forgot) but I honestly love him, alot. So much. His gorgeous ass is everything to me.

"My life." Instead of responding, he jumped up and left my room. When I heard another door slam, I knew he left my house. Did I do something wrong?

Laying down, I felt something hard. That something being his phone. Instead of snooping through it like a bad girlfriend. I took pictures and walked down to give it back. Once I opened the door, he gave me a hard look, "are you really that damn selfish?"

"Jawa-"

"You would save your life huh? What an amazing girlfriend!"

"Jawa-"

"Fuck you too!!!!"

"JAWAN, SHUT UP! YOU ARE MY FUCKING LIFE YOU PRICK!" I threw his phone and slammed the door, feeling the tears come to my eyes. What the hell was that about? He gets so angry at the most random times. Is he bipolar or something? Probably is.

The stairs is way too much right now. Plopping down on the sofa is just as fine as my bed.

I feel like crap. Whenever things in my life are going good, something comes in and ruins it.

Pulling out my phone, I called the most amazing person I know.

"Chres... Can you come over here?"

"Trouble in paradise?" Sensing my uneasiness, he replied, "Is anything wrong?"

Maybe I deserved that, I haven't had a real conversation with him since Valentines day. Why? 'With Jawan gtg' 'sorry, Jawans here'

"No, I just," my words failed me as I let out a sob, "I need you." He agreed and hung up on me.

What'll happen when he goes on tour? This boy keeps me sane. He's the sunshine behind the rain in my eyes. Life is hard. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

ROCS POV

"Hey mom, do you know where Bianca is?" Seeing that I'm always with her mom, she insisted that I called her mom. Her dad on the other hand, he's one scary man which I will refer to as sir. Even in my thoughts.

"She's in the living room. But wait Chresanto," I turned my attention to her as se continued, "something's not right about Jawan. I know she loves him but she's in love with you. Sweep her off her feet boy, don't let him hurt my daughter." I nodded hugging her, murmuring my promises into her ear.

Walking into the living room, I noticed Bianca was sleeping. I softly lifted her head and placed it on my lap, rubbing her head. She may be sleep but I can tell she was crying. Kissing her forehead, I started to sing to her, "If it was up to me, girl you'd never frown. Never be down another day in your life.." She stirred slightly, putting her arms around my waist.

What did he do to her?

•

An hour later, she woke up. Rubbing her red, puffy eyes. "I always sleep good after crying." She tried to joke but it eventually made her cry even more. "What did he do baby?"

"He- I don't know! I just want to cry, and eat, and sleep, and ignore him. Fuck boys, I'm gay. All boys do is make me cry, except you. But- I just don't know!" I laughed slightly rubbing circles on her waist, something that calms her down almost instantly. As her breathing began to slow down, I slowed down also.