If We Can Turn Back Time

Chapter 14: Season

I'm running towards the Headmaster's office, but something nags my mind. Would they actually believe me? Will this change anything? 

I'm still crying and the darkness isn't helping me calm down. I sit down next to the candlelight and wipe my face with my cloak sleeve. My sniffles echo in the empty school, and it's so cringey I keep on crying. I want to disappear. And maybe when I am there where the lost things are, I'll meet Cody. I'll be happy there with him. I'll apologize and I'll hug him and I'll say all the things I should have said. 

And maybe I'll become a ghost and haunt Spencer's silly ass forever. At that thought, I smile a melancholy smile and salty tears run into my mouth. I grimace. I always have hated my smile. My teeth are generally small, and smiling reveals a lot of my gums and I  consider that unattractive. 

"What the hell." I hear the voice of a boy in the distance. I ignore it and keep on sniffling and crying. Honestly now, I don't give a damn about anything. I close my eyes and lean back until the back of my head taps the stone walls. 

"What the actual hell." The voice is more closer and tangible now. I look up and blink away the tears collected on my lashes. He has dark brown hair brushed to the side but messy in the back. The hair ends in spikes at the base of his neck and highlights his prominent chin. I stare up at his bright green eyes, the color of fresh grass in August. I can already feel its sunshine glow and the soft brown lashes that fold whenever he blinks. His lips are thin and I can see the dimple lines below his lower lip. I know him at first glance. He's James Sirius Potter in Gryffindor. 

"Hey." He suddenly stops cussing and looks at me with round eyes. I laugh. It comes out like a mix of a snort and a gasp, and I blush. 

"Hi." I stand up and wipe the tears from my eyes. "I'm very fucked up today, you probably don't want to talk to me today." 

"No, I'd rather talk to you than talk to anyone else because you seem as equally as messed up as me." James Potter walks over to me and plops down. I sit down too.

"Then talk." I tell him. 

"Okay." 

"Go ahead."

"First, I was selected as Triwizard participant and I don't know what to do with that. I have to decide on my future because graduation is so near. I want to write but I don't know where to start with that. I can't let my name or my mother down. I can't embarrass my father. I have to support my brother for being gay but it's awkward. My girlfriend, Alissa is cheating on me for a Ravenclaw bloke named Spencer."

"Hmm. Okay."

"Now your turn."

"First my book got rejected and I am suffering from a two month depression but I was depressed anyway because of my brother's death. My parents are divorced and I don't know what I should do with that. I feel guilty and regretful and all that shit and I can't get hold of myself. People call me a fag for being bisexual sometimes. I almost got kissed by a dementor and I cannot cast a proper patronus and I'm in my fifth year. Oh yeah. And my boyfriend, Spencer is cheating on me with a Gryffindor named Alissa." 

"Wow." James Potter musters out a sad laugh. "You win."

"Well it's not about winning. We're both fucked up, me about my past and you about your future. And our partners are cheating on us together. Which kinda sucks big time." 

"Well said. Well said..." James nods, grinning. He turns over to me and I smell firewhisky on his lips. "Hey I don't know your name."

"It's Season." I tell him. He doesn't ask about my last name. Or my middle one. I can't decide whether if I should use Cody's name, my mom's maiden name, or my father's name.

"Cool name."

"Have you been drinking?" I ask him. James nods and grins stupidly. Gotta admit. Its pretty cute. "Great. I need a drink, and you seem to have enough firewhisky left." I grunt as I stand up. James stands up and just stands there. As if he doesn't know what to do with his goddamn body. He's tall like Spencer, but he's just skin and bones. 

"What makes you say that?"

"You're sober enough to tell me how fucked up you are." I smirk and push him out of the way. "So let me have a taste of Earth's greatest liquid."

"First, I only drank one sip because my roomates pressured me to. Second, You're underage, Season." 

When he says my name, I feel my face rushing with blush. I hide my face. I nod and James nods too. As if he understands that a drink is really the only remedy right now. 

"I can't let you drink." James tells me. I frown. "No seriously. You know what? I have an invisibility cloak right here. We can sneak ourselves  into the kitchen and feast on-whatever."

I feel a grin rising up. "Sure. I need marshmallows. Pronto." 

James Potter laughs. He pulls out an actual invisibility cloak and wraps it around us. I'm immediately pulled into his arms as he guides me to the kitchen. He has no intention to touch me. He has no intention to put his arm around me. He just walks. I feel completely normal. 

He smells like firewhisky and grass and fresh rain. I want to rush to the potions room to test if I can feel his scent when I'm near amortentia.