Virus (Yandere Connor x Reader)

Forty-Four

The silence was horrible, but something had to be done to break the three of you from being frozen in place. So you gently took the vine back and dropped it into the beaker, walking away to cover the top so there was no risk of losing it.

The motions seemed to snap the other two back to life. Hank cleared his throat loudly, helping Connor to his feet and making sure he wasn't about to collapse again. "You two want a change of scenery? I say we get the fuck outta here. My place isn't, uh... this advanced, but... actually, it's barely clean." He blinked. "Okay, new plan."

"I want to meet Sumo," you interjected rapidly. "Connor said you had a good boy and I want to meet him."

They both eyed you before the lieutenant chuckled. "All right, that was easy. Come on, let's get the fuck out of here," he added, waving a hand towards the staircase.

Both you and Connor had the same thought, looking down at the thirium steadily drying on your bodies. "I... should really change out of these, and probably at least shower." You made a face. "I know it'll vanish but it's still there. I feel gross."

"It's usually unnecessary for androids to bathe, but... I am of the same mindset," the android spoke up. "I will wait until we've arrived; I don't feel comfortable occupying your shower when you desire it just as much."

Boy, he really left himself open for what came next... but it came from Hank before you could open your mouth. "Save time, kid. Just shower here. There's plenty of room for two, I'm sure."

As expected, Connor remained blissfully unaware. "Hank, it may save time, but I don't feel it's appropriate to-- what's so funny?" The other male was trying to suppress his laughter, shifting on his feet; a tell that the android knew well. You had turned away from him, eyes squeezed shut and turning red with the effort. "... what did I miss?"

"Son, think about what I said. I mean think really fucking hard." When the android nodded a bit, Hank raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Well? Put two and two together yet?"

"More like one and one," you mumbled, which just made both of you snort, trying to stay reasonable.

The poor, sweet detective could only give a slightly crooked smile, as perplexed as ever.

●○●○●

Once you'd showered- alone, since Connor still didn't catch on- and changed, Hank drove the two of you back to his home. As everyone headed for the front door, you heard a loud, long howl from inside. "So, just as forewarning, Sumo is big, but he's a pushover. He might try to--"

Before the lieutenant could finish, he'd opened the door and you made a beeline for the giant puppy. You promptly dropped onto the floor, sitting so you could get a face full of slobbery dog affection. Really, you were just encouraging it, and Sumo was happy to comply. His weight did knock you over, but there was no effort made to sit back up yet.

The males shut the front door and stood nearby to watch, amused. "Shit, I'm starting to think I need to stop having living beings here. You're stealing everything away from me, so I need to interfere," Hank grinned.

You peered around the mass of fur. "Oh, no, I am not leaving without this absolute unit of good boy."

"Wait, wait, hang on a fuckin' second. You can't keep the dog and leave me with the kid, that's not how it works!"

"Don't care. I'm taking Sumo in the divorce, you take the kid."

"They're both mine, sweetheart, you don't get to decide what the lawyers say!"

All you did was shrug. "Okay. You keep the dog and the kid. I'm a free woman."

He nodded, clearly proud of himself. "Yeah, that's what I tho--WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE!" You had to lie down again, barely able to breathe as you cackled. Beside him, Connor tried to cover his mouth casually, but the shaking of his shoulders betrayed him as he laughed, as well. Heaving a sigh, the lieutenant crossed his arms. "Fine, okay, you got me. Really fuckin' easily, actually. You want a job squeezing confessions out of others?"

"Ew, an actual job? Abandon my freelance gig? Hank, you're killing me." Gently nudging Sumo away so you could stand, you snatched a napkin to clean off all the sloppy kisses you'd been gifted.

"Steady employment. Benefits. Plus you get to work with us, so I don't see the problem." One single moment passed. "I take it back. I can think of so many things I don't wanna be involved in if you worked at the precinct."

"Hank, if you're going to take the time convincing her to apply, I will escape to the shower in the meantime," your android chimed in before walking away down the hall.

Waiting for the bathroom door to open and close again, you smirked. "Is our kid one of the reasons you don't want me working there?"

"At the rate he's going, no. We can drop hints left and right; he ain't catchin' them. That boy is gonna stay a virgin and he's not even trying to." With a bit of a frown, Hank meandered into the kitchen, peering through the contents of his cupboards. "Now that I think about it, I'm equally as uncomfortable with the idea of him actually getting laid. Don't even get me started on the shit he'll ask about."

You hopped up to sit on the countertop beside where he stood. "Well, androids have a pretty extensive knowledge. And since he was developed to assist you, I'm sure he's got a good deal of forensics in his database." Hank raised an eyebrow. "Forensics means anatomy. The human body. Hank, he doesn't have to ask where the clitoris is."

The expression that spread across his face was a glorious one: half wanting to laugh, half horror. "Just... no. Please. I wanna laugh and cry and also not think about it."

Shrugging, you couldn't stop the grin from forming. "I'm right, though, aren't I?"

"Not the point." Once he'd settled down some, he continued to look through his kitchen. "Ah, shit. Well... you and I need food to live, but I don't have a lot. Connor usually handles the food shit, including shopping for it. I don't know how he does it but I've never had a meal he made that I didn't like. Pretty sure he keeps notes on me or something, but as long as I don't gotta see them, then it's whatever. But the kid is pretty good in the kitchen. If I do the damn shopping, he might cook for both of us. Problem is, it's been awhile since I did any kind of shopping... actually no, he did drag me to get that suit. That was hell and a half. Are you even listening?"

The entire time Hank rambled on, your attention was pulled away as soon as Connor emerged from the bathroom. It may have been unusual for him to be anything but presentable, especially in company, but he was half-dressed. The slacks he'd pulled on hadn't quite been fastened yet; the belt was also there, but undone, as well. He was running a towel through his hair, catching your gaze and smiling... as unaware as ever.

"I know what I want for dinner," you blurted out, eyes glued to the sweet but clueless android.

"Well, tell the kid when he's out of the shower, then," Hank grumbled, annoyed that he'd been ignored. But when he looked up and saw you not moving, he waved a hand in front of your face, receiving only one reaction: to have his hand shoved away and out of your line of sight. Only then did he turn and notice Connor. "... go put a fuckin' shirt on," he spat, shaking his head.