Things we keep in the dark | minsung

📖the thought of you

Jisung, in fact, didn't speak to him, he made his presence so transparent that Minho sometimes felt like he could see right through him. He didn't come knocking at his apartment door, he barely even looked at him in class. It had been a week now, no news from him, only other hickeys Minho chose to look at. It made his blood boil, to think that there is someone else, or more then one person.

They ignored each other, up until one day.

It was the big game, a football match that the entire school, or most, were obligated to attend. Jisung and Minho both stood, watching quietly, sometimes clapping their hands when a point was scored. What made it different, was when a player landed.

Really badly.

He had torn opened his knee, the medics were soon onto him, but there was blood gushing out everywhere.

Minho tried to look elsewhere, because anything was better then watching a boy bleed half to death. His eyes locked to where Jisung was, seeming horrified at the view, amongst many others. He then stood up, a hand over his mouth, soon running towards the building where bathrooms were.

A teacher was heading his way, but Minho stopped her.

"I'll go." He didn't know what pushed him to, but his entire body rushed towards the bathroom before he could even comprehend what was happening.

He knocked on the stall and heard Jisung throwing up.

"Can I come in?"

He heard the door unlock and jisung laid on the bathroom floor.

"Hyung I'm sorry..." he said softly, and Minho could only sign. "I want to tell you everything...but I think you'll hate me if I do. And I can't have that."

"Well I don't exactly like you right now..." minho said and Jisung nodded.

"Then why did you come and see me?"

"Jisung I'm just doing my job...this isn't an invitation back into my life."

"I know but...I want back what we had..."

"You can't say that now...I chose to break this off because you're not being honest with me..."

"I can explain it all...okay?"

"It's too late for that."

Minho's eyes travelled to Jisung's bag, who was half opened, notes and pictures spread everywhere.

Minho picked them up and flipped them, frowning. These were pictures of him. It made him smile, but he hid it. Jisung didn't own a cell phone, but he supposed the old camera in his bag was the source of it.

When Jisung saw that he had taken a hold of his picture, his eyes widened.

"Wait no!" He rose to get them but felt too weak to, so he just ended up back on the floor.

There was one picture where Minho slept in his own bed, jisung had taken a picture of him sleeping. Another was Minho teaching in class. There were a few more that Jisung had taken in his house, some of his paintings, some were of the two of them, even if Minho didn't know he had been taking pictures.

He stopped at one in particular.

He was in the halls, of the school as it seemed, walking. But something was apparent. He had a bandage around his hand.

"This picture..." he said lowly and jisung closed his eyes. "This was when I cut my thumb with a knife...it was only a few days in...we barely spoke back then...I..." he stopped himself and looked at jisung. "Do you care to explain this...?"

"I..." Jisung looked at him like he had just twisted a knife in him.

Something so dark a horrid struck Minho. It was a guess, a pure glimpse. One that made his entire body still. He looked at Jisung and widened his eyes.

"You're not throwing up because youre sick...are you?" Minho said and jisung looked at him strangely.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're throwing up because you saw blood just now."

"So what?"

"When my hand was cut opened, you told me you didn't mind blood, but now at the sight of it you feel sick? Why?" Minho paused and looked at the picture again. "Is it because it reminds you of something horrible you saw..."

"Are you out of your mind?-"

"Or something you did."

The words clung at them, jisung glared at him, confused and powerless on the floor.

"Stop. Lying." Minho said, sternly.

Jisung's eyes lost their softness, they became so vivid and real, so empty. He looked at him and leaned his head back on the bathroom stall.

"Alright...you got me." He got up with all the force he could muster and looked at Minho coldly.

"I'll drive...you'll have a lot of explaining to do."

Jisung nodded.

"Yes...perhaps I do."

<3

Minho had taken Jisung to his apartment, hoods over their heads to avoid the cameras. Once the door was closed and the two were left alone, a chill and breeze air settled between them.

"First." Minho said and placed the picture of him weeks prior on the table. "I want you to explain this picture. Why did you take it? When did you start...looking my way..."

"I've liked you before you even knew my name." Jisung said quietly. "I saw you the first day of school...I'd never seen anyone more beautiful...I didn't take pictures then, I could only stare from a distance. I thought you were..." he paused. "I thought you were another student..."

Minho quietly sat next to him, trying to move as little as possible, like if he laid next to a snake.

"Then." Jisung proceeded. "I saw you in class. With your pretty buttoned up shirt and your stupid pretty hair and I just..." he sighed. "I don't know you felt...different. Like you were just like me."

"So you felt it too."

Nothing could describe the look of relief on Jisung's face, he closed his eyes and rubbed his hair.

"I felt...everything when I looked at you. I can't explain it...it's like, if I didn't speak to you then, I would have stopped existing."

"And so you raised your hand."

"I did."

They shared a look, like a cloud before a storm.

"And After?"

"I...wanted to be around you more, I found ways to."

"Such as?" Minho said softly, almost like a whisper.

"I insulted my classmate so you'd talk to me after class. When those two cheerleaders fought in the library and knocked over two shelves, I was the one who provoked it and ran, so I could see you. At the amusement park, I heard you on the phone with a friend, saying you were going. I didn't plan on speaking to you I- never planned on any of this happening. I was obsessed...and you, god, Minho, you..." he stopped, turned his way and cupped his face. "You fed my addiction, you looked my way, you smiled at me like you meant it, you cared for me, you...you're the only good thing that ever happened to me."

"Jisung...?" Minho felt a tear fall down his face.

"I..." a tear fell down his face, gently. "I just wanted to protect you..."

"Tell me what you did."

Jisung tensed and stared at him, wide eyes and a trembling bottom lip.

"I killed her..."