[HIATUS]Why The Fuck Am I Here?!![Final Edition][N.S.F.W. 🔞]

Preface: The Day My life was DESTROYED....

This was the day where my world became trouble and I lived in nothing but hell even since it happened...this was the day my father disappeared

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I remember his white hair, something me and him shared and his blue almost grey eyes, which I sadly didn't get. His smile always carried his warmth as did his hugs. His bluish grey eyes also carried that with him, and he never scolded me. This was also the time when my mom was nothing but warm.... When hate didn't turn her crazy and abusive.

It was a time when her love didn't turn cold... And when her knew husband didn't lead her down the rabbit hole.

"Daddy....please take us with you.. " My little hand gripped onto his dress shirt and I saw nothing but tears roll down his cheeks. His eyes were no longer there warm bluish grey, they were the shade of raging storms, expressing a inner turmoil. He didn't want to leave us, something deep inside me told me he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"I want you to have these, I know you love your cartoons and anime, this will be my parting gift but not the last thing you'll receive from me." He hugged me so tightly afterwards and his entire body shook, he didn't want to be a part from me but here he was letting go, and staring at me with a sad determined expression. "I'll always watch over you. I'll do my best to protect you...I love you Blake... My little Blake Wonderwick." He kissed my forehead and went to turn to leave... Only to see my mother standing there watching with a furious look in her eyes.

When her eyes met mine they softened for a breifly moment before hate filled them, utter and absolute hate. It was so strong in her eyes that I fell back in my butt and stared at her in fear.

'I don't like the way mommy is looking at me.... Daddy I'm scared.'

I unconsciously, I grabbed onto his pants leg, my wide fearful eyes on my mother. When he looked down at me and followed my gaze, he was frozen stiff. With a calculating look, he took a Citrine crystal like neckless off of his neck and put it around mine. With a finger to his lips he grabbed the crystal and smiled as I watched in wonder as it began to glow with his hand. "This will protect you both when I'm not here " it was clear he was only referring to me, it's not that he didn't want to take me with him, he couldn't....

"Daddy... Pwease take me with... I don't want to be here with her, I'm scared!!" I shook visibly under the hate filled gaze of my mother; I knew the moment he left would be the moment I'd be beaten of whatever else, her fury could almost be smelt. "I love you Blake, never forget that. You are he best thing I ever made. " He stood with a sigh, turing to the woman he loved only to see nothing but a chill on her cold eyes.

He hugged her anyway, and it was enough to make my mother cry, before he left out of the home never to be seen again. My door was closed as I cried in my room I til the sun left the sky, buti was interrupted because my mother slammed my door open.

In her hand was a broken broom, her eyes crazed as she stared at me. "You're the reason why he left....ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU HE CARED ABOUT MORE!!! BRING HIM BACK YOU FILTH!!" without a moment of hesitation, she began to beat me with the broken end of the metal broom. Sh soent the whole night doing it, until my blood all but stains the carpet from he sharp jagged ends piercing my skin.

Even when I tried to crawl under my bed to hide from her, like an angry beast she grabbed my leg and dragged me from underneath only to wack me over the head, knocking unconscious.

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When I came to, my entire body throbbed as if I had been ran over by a car. My legs ached an my entire body as covered in open bleeding wounds that I was sure would leave perminent scars, my door was shut with a bloodied handprint on it which I keep belong to my mother. When I sifted over to really look at the damage done, on my legs were words cut deep that spelled "No Name."

To her I wasn't even the breath of air needed, or the daughter sh pushed out at birth.... To her I was no longer Blake Wonderwick. She took my name after completely disowning me, and with a sigh I clutched onto the citrin crystal my father gsm me and stared at it as itbgan to faintly glow. With a winner, my wounds began to close which left scars all over

When I looked into my mirror I saw a sleep deprived four year old me, cryinnsoentky as I gripped the crystal like a life line. "Daddy.... Why didn't you take me with you...? Why couldn't you...? " I sobbed silently in my hands, sitting right in the middle of my bloodied carpet, trying to understand why this was happening. Why did mommy blame me for this? Why was it suddenly my fault that daddy as gone..... Where did the love she had for me go....?

Why did the loneliness hurt so much?!

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Why The Fuck Am I Here?