[HIATUS]Why The Fuck Am I Here?!![Final Edition][N.S.F.W. 🔞]

Nineteen: Learning To Live With The Blood On My Hands...

     I snapped back to reality when a sinister sounding roar escaped my lips and vibrated the air, the body of the man I knew to be Illumi in disguise, staring up at me. I wasn't all the way there, as if the dormant demonic beast in me put me in the truck of a car and was steering. I could see him, I could feel him struggling under the weight on my muscles but, I didn't move not once.

     "Be a good boy, and remove the pins, before I do it for you." My voice alone left no room to negotiate anything.... it was my voice but then it wasn't; you would call this a strange phenomenon, wouldn't you? If I was half as sane as I used to be them so would I... But it was normal sadly.

     "I don't know—"he started to speak, myt my blood stains hand grabbed his jaw and covered hi mouth, squeezing and lifting his head off the ground, my other hand reaching to pull an invisible pin from the back of his neck. My cold irises studied the metal covered in blood and I looked back at him. "I won't ask again, Illumi." His entire body went absolutely still at the sound of his name leaving my bloodied lips and I waited as patient as I could before another roar ripped up my throat and out my clenched teeth.

     "NOW!!"

     He stared up at me, eyes wide, but not really of fear, just mild surprise that I a girl he's never physically met before was demanding that he'd remove his mask and bare himself to her. It was that, but also myy bloodlust was currently causinnevey animal in the forest to flee in fright. The birds left their nest and flew to the sky with frightened cries, the deer like creatures turned tail and ran for their lives; in their eyes I represented death... I think that was starting to sink in for him.

      I shifted the weigh from my foot that trapped one of his arms and planted it right next to his head, and I shifted my leg where I hadn't knee pressed directly into his palm. I literally was sitting on this man's chest, while watching him calmly but quickly pull every pin from his body. With a look of slight disgust, I watched physical features warp and morph before they returned to the face of the fish eyed man.  He laid motionless beneath me with his palms up and exposed for me to see, all the while his black emotionless pits for orbs studied my ever feature.

       "You're her aren't you....? The woman I keep dreaming about ...the woman Hisoka tasked me to find." I was slightly taken aback by what he said and stared at him. "So the perverted clown is looking for me... Why didn't he come find me himself?" I ended up trapping both his arms under only knees again glaring down at him, unashamed that my pussy was literally in this man's face. He glanced down at it for the longest time, his face tinted for a short while before the tint in his cheeks all but vanished. "He said and I quote: I can no longer track her aura...it seems Kitten wants to play a game of vide and seek." He rolled his eyes as he sighed, trying to pull his arms from under my knees.

     "If you move again, nothing will stop me from ripping you apart." I grin ed a inhuman smile, leaning down with all of my blood stained sharp teeth bare for him to see, his body instantly going still. "You know... He made a mistake sending you.... You look submissive and breedable right now...." My voice got deeper and more ominous the morsei spoke about the animalistic urges churning with in me. The only reason why I didn't turn him on his stomach am put something where the sun don't shine is because I'm not a rapist.

     ".... You're worse than him..."  His face was full on flushed as he glared up at me now, and I couldn't help but chuckle. " Just get he fuck out of here." I stood abruptly, glaring down t the man who was sent for me. " You better not tell him you fioud me .. or I'll kill you both... " My pointed ears twitched as I backed away and I to the steam produced by the hot springs, vanishing from his sight. I left the estemed Zoldyck laying on his back, contemplating what to do with his life.

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     I had long foun my way in front o the cave that held my mother's body, I sat watching the sun slowly inch it's way closer to the horizon thinking back to the love I took. Sure I felt bad, but I dint feel bad taking them from the world. They were scum that needed to be erased and I did what was needed so they could never harm another soul. I dint remember eveythin that happened during the inside t, though in bits and pieces the scenes flooded my brain almost like a movie.

     I stared blankly as I watched the memory with indifference, turning my cold golden eyes back on slowly darkening sky. "Kiwi, you should go wash. Anyone accustomed to the blood of others can smell you miles away." Kyevi, my father, sat next to me as we watched in silence. Rare moment like this, involved him sneaking up on me. I hadn't even heard him coming because I was so lost in thought. I snorted and glanced at him, still naked aa a jaybird, though my hair covered majority of everything.

     "I will in a little while." Was my only reply to his statement. He began to chuckle glancing at my face. " I always said you're just like me, but it seems I had every reason to be right about what I said." I glanced at him with a raised white brow, watching him turn his head towards me, his face blank. " You like to be surrounded by blood. This was made apparent to me not once, not twice but thrice." He sighed before reaching out to touch my bloodstained hair. "Just like me, or how I used to be " right then and there I wondered what else he had yet to tell me. He always told me stories, yet he never really told me a lot of stories about himself, my fathers upbringing was always a mystery he didnt wan to speak about.

     I slowly shook my head and locked up at the dark glittering sky." There's a difference, I don't like it. I didn't want to kill them, but I was reminded by what caused my death my last life and... Like a switch I snapped." I whisper, the reality of what I did finally dawning on me. I was lying to myself, blacked out and berserked, I enjoyed ripping anything hear me to shreds.

     Because of my truama, I became a murder, though being in this world, it was bound to happen. " I know, Kiwi. I'm sorry that this happened to you, more than anything I want you to live a life better than your previous one, but this world isn't always nice. You experienced that again today. You vowed to become strong. On a path such as this, sometimes you have to slaughter the scum to build a better world."

He pulled me into his arms as I cried, sobbed loudly at the weight that was on my chest, but thinking about his words, I realized how true they were. Little by little, the pain lessened.  I know I said I felt bad so nonchalantly... But I said before emotions in this new body ran deeper... Feelings ran deep...rage ran deep...

    Everything...

    Ran..

    Deep....

    Deeper than blood and all the way down to my soul....