horology | the darkling

haunted

stick season - noah kahan

and I'll dream each night of some version of you
that I might not have, but I did not lose

/

'i know if i'm haunting you, you must be haunting me' - beyoncé

-

seraphina

Seraphina was dreaming again. She knew she was but she couldn't wake from the nightmares. She saw the queen's gruesome death and her own hands, shining scarlet with blood. In her dream she was nothing more than a ghost, hovering over her own body, witnessing the consequences of her actions. The Time Turner saw the world slow before her eyes and the life drain from the Lantsov queen's blue eyes. Herself, well, the other one, was smiling a smile of ruthless aggression. Seraphina watched in horror as her doppelganger plunge the knife into the queen's chest. Blood exploded in slow motion, individual drops splashing against the painted white walls. Violence against serendipity.

In her moment of darkness and hopelessness, Seraphina found herself calling. Calling into the void to see if there would be an answer. She was certain she was still dreaming, she must be because the walls of her bedroom had slowly morphed into a golden throne. She took a step towards it, shakily reaching out a finger to touch the forbidden treasure. As her finger drew near, the gold state do morph, black liquid bubbling up from the legs until the whole piece was covered in onyx ooze. The Time Turner drew her hand away in shock just to find her blue nightdress was now an elaborate black gown with crimson rubies. They sparkled in an unseen light. Her face was painted, black makeup caked over her features, so much so that she almost didn't recognise herself. Seraphina let out a silent scream, mouth open in a shell shocked cry. Hands had appeared at her feet, clutching her ankles and dragging her into their hell. Join us, they called, you are one of us. A murderer. She was certain that she was going to die. Death taunted her, not quite giving her enough reason to die or enough reason to live. She reached out her hadn't into nothingness. An empty gesture. A feeble attempt to save herself. Time Turner, the voices whispered you must suffer for your sins. Then someone grabbed her hand and pulled her out.

'Aleksander?'

'Seraphina'

Her vision blurred. She peered through the fog but she couldn't see him. She could see an outline, a black shape in the distance. It might have been him but he was distorted, even his voice. He sounded like something taken out of an old film, deep but cracked and frayed.

'Aleksander? I...'

'My love'

Her breath hitches. Love? Certainly the wrong word to use for a woman who had just committed cold blooded murder. Tyrant, he should have called her. My darling tyrant. She stopped mid sentence, unsure of what words she could ever say to express the storm of emotions of her mind.

'I...I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to me again'

She hated how she crumbled for him.

'I know you, Seraphina. Whatever reason you had, whatever terrible monster in your mind convinced you to kill her, I know that wasn't you. You wouldn't... do something like that'

He sounded sincere but she wasn't sure if it was just her mind, twisting his words, distorting his voice. Aleksander could never be sincere after an event like this. She knew it all too well. He, his mind, was as empathetic and as it was calculating. He would indulge in her crimes. He would kill, yes, undoubtedly, he has killed before. But this, this murder was more than even the fabled Darkling could stomach. She could feel it, the uneasiness as he said those words. The atmosphere shifted, black dust growing and morphing into nameless shapes. She chuckled, even in her dreams he was manipulating her.

'It's like you don't know me at all'

She couldn't see him in the darkness but she could sense his gaze turn dark.

'Why did you bring me here?'

Words faltered on her lips. She didn't know. She was scared, haunted by visions of the dead. She was drowning in a sea of bitterness and self hatred. She would never admit it but him being here was like a hand reaching out to pull her from the depths. His presence was her saving grace. She had nobody else to turn to, nobody else who would understand how it felt like to watch someone's life drain from their eyes. There was a thrill to it, an amusement in seeing the demise of someone she had loathed for so long. Someone who mistreated and blamed others for her own cowardice, a fox among unsuspecting hens.

'I...I don't know'

It was true, she didn't. She just seemed comfort, an escape from the mess that she created. Seraphina had reached out into the void she had known for so long to find something, anything that could anchor her. But she found Aleksander instead. He approached her, crown of shadows nearing her tea stained face. Seraphina didn't realise she was crying until a drop landed on her bare arms. Her reflection stared black, terrified at what she had become.

Aleksander placed his hands on her face. She let out a sniff she didn't know she had been holding in. His hand was so warm; she could feel the blood pulsing around his veins. Seraphina, alone for all her life, had never realised that the only thing she had ever longed for wasn't power, wasn't fame: she just wanted to be understood. To have someone know her, truly know her and still love her anyways. The Vessenskies loved her like she was their own but they had never seen her... like this. She wondered what her father would have said, the shame in his eyes. Her mother's beautiful smile turning into a look of horror. Her parents watching all their hard work, all the dedication they had put into their little girl turn into this.

Gusts of wind picked up. Aleksander's voice was so soft she wasn't sure if he had even said them.

'It's ok, my dear. I'm here for you, whatever and whenever you need me. You know you will always have a special place in my heart.'

Just as suddenly, his hands turn frigid. She could see his face now; black veins twisting around his cheeks. Eyes pitch black like the starless midnight sky. Hands that, just a moment ago, had been caressing her found their way around her neck. Seraphina's hazel eyes widened, hands automatically clawing at him. She aimed for his eyes, fingernails turned into deadly knives aimed at his weakness. Aleksander's arms were much longer than hers. All she managed to do was scratch the fabric of his kefta, black and gold threads coming loose.

Her vision stared to blur as the hands constricting her throat squeezed harder. She had expected him to betray her, to want her dead. It was more than just revenge for him; if he rid her, he could have everything, all the power he'd dreamt of as a child. He would build and burn nations to the ground. The elements would be his to control. And yet, Seraphina hoped blindly that his love for her would change him. That if she willed hard enough and suffered more, she could find a way to save him. To make him see her as more than an obstacle. But she saw now that even love could not conquer greed.

'Let go, Seraphina. Just give in. You and I will be together forever.'

She struggled to maintain her breath but her head was spinning and she could feel her body going limp. Only a matter of time. Time, Seraphina thought, that bitch.

'Aleksander?'

His grasp loosen around her neck a little.

'Last words, my dear?'

Blood seeped out of her nose.

'There isn't a hell big enough for you to run from me'

Her neck snapped.

Seraphina woke with a start, sweat pouring down her shaking body, too startled to notice those gold and black threads underneath her fingernails.