Anakin's Fortress - Book II (temporary cover)

Two - Acquiescence

The best revenge is no revenge—but a little pain never killed anyone.
Year 7

———————

Kat

After instructing the droids on cleanup and listening to their instructions for his recovery, I wander out onto the tiny balcony I hadn't noticed the first time I was here. It overlooks a fairly crazy area in terms of lava activity, and I watched it pop, burn, and flow violently.

The sun sets, its wild reds and yellows fading to crimson and violet, and soon the sky is peacefully black.

I stare at one star that seems secluded compared to the other clusters, but it also shines brighter. I can't help but wonder if it isn't as alone as it appears, but its shine simply dims everything around it, until it merely looks to be by itself.

There is probably a metaphor inside there somewhere, but I'm unable to reflect in this moment.

I don't know what to think about any of it. The strongest feeling is still relief that Anakin is alive.

Then, there is the part of me that seems to like that he is using me to shed the darkness, like a coat I take off for him when he comes home.

But I know it is foolish. Dangerous. I see the way he struggles not to touch me, not to look too long. I felt his grip today, tight around my wrist or tangled with my hand. He does not want to hurt me, but a part of him knows he will, one way or another.

I remember what he told me, that he used me for years to remain in the dark, and it is just so confusing. He used affection to darken his soul, rather than using it to brighten it. Until today, I suppose.

But would it last? How long could he really spend with me, like this, before he would need to leave? And when he leaves, will he need to find the dark again? The thought scares me. It's hard to wrap my head around—why does he have to be one or the other? Nothing is black and white, right?

I try to examine my fear and discomfort, to find something in it to understand how I really feel, but all I find are tears.

I wouldn't say I'm crying, exactly. A better description might be leaking, the tears just dripping of their own accord.

And then, I freeze. The lava has settled behind the palace and I'm staring at the calm pool closest when I suddenly understand why it happens. The planet spends those two hours recovering. If the activity never stopped, the planet would begin to degrade.

That's what Anakin's mods need, a recovery period. It's why they can't handle my adjustments, why he needs the suit and healing chamber. They must rest while he rests, just like a human body.

But what could power something like that? What could possibly be delicate enough to handle a human body, but strong enough to handle Anakin?

His suit. That's where I'll start.

I slip back into his sleeping chambers and for a moment, I just sit there and analyze him. He is a beautiful man, truly. Especially like this, his face blank and relaxed, his shoulders exposed and revealing muscles even in sleep. I can't help but wonder what his skin would look like tanned under the sun, something I'll probably never get to see.

I almost jump when he pops an eye open, half his face still buried in his silky black pillow. It is yellow.

"Kitten?" he mumbles. "Come here." His hand appears and lifts the heavy blanket, holding it open in invitation and closing his eye once more.

My chest tightens at the easy gesture. "I need to get to my lab."

"Kitten." His sleepy voice is too much, making my brain feel like mud. So deep and captivating, and alluring, too...