I have never begged anyone to stay,
But I said please that day.
We can work this out.
I have never prayed for anything so badly,
but I remember begging the universe that if it could hear me somehow,
all I want is a chance to make it work.
'I can't'...
Brick by brick, day by day with dedication and honor in your heart for one another.
*
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"Sienna?"
"Mhhmm?"
"Say something," I murmur when she continues to remain silent, merely fiddling with her fingers on the island, her gaze distant.
My heart halts, and I feel my fingers turn cold.
This is precisely what I feared - her rejection... her refusal to be part of this tumultuous situation surrounding us... her inability to cope with the fact that someone close to me attempted to take advantage of her, and succeeded to some extent, while I was unable to protect her... and her decision that this is all too much to bear, opting to walk away again... because the truth is, it is a lot... and she would be justified in not wanting to endure any of it.
I bite my lip, then release it, meeting her gaze across the island.
"Are you genuinely surprised that I asked that of you?" I inquire.
"Yes..."
"Why?"
She exhales softly and bites her lower lip in contemplation.
"I mean... you could just... choose differently... it would resolve half your problems." she mumbles with a slight shake of her head, alluding to Thalia.
I bow my head, thoughtful, gazing down at my fingers.
It's the easy choice... but I realize it's also the most hollow.
"When we broke up, I was angry and hurt, but I also understood that it was because of what happened with Scarlet that you couldn't truly move forward."
"But nothing happened with Scarlet," she counters.
"Yes, you know that now... but you didn't then... and quite frankly, neither did I. A part of me was certain nothing happened between us, but there was also a part of me that doubted... it made me angry with myself. So, I understood how you felt and didn't blame you for it. Even though initially you didn't break up with me because of it, you eventually did, and at that time, you didn't give me a lot of explanations why you changed your mind... and at that time, Alessio and the rest of the family, we were doing great. Our bond was strong, and I felt like part of the family. I was just afraid to open up to them... to tell them why it ended between us because in my mind, it was because of that night with Scarlet, and I thought they would judge me, hate me for doing that to you... that I would lose them too just like I lost you, so I didn't open up to anyone.
But then you left for that first trip. I didn't think you would be gone so long. So, I decided to give you time, and you didn't take long. You came back three months later... and I tried again with you," I say, noticing her momentarily dropping her eyes. Still, she wasn't saying much, except that it was better this way between us... and then you left again... and this time, you were gone for eight months before you returned... I was angry, Sienna... I knew you were around, but I didn't try. I wanted you to come to me, but you didn't and left the country again, and again, and this time you were gone for almost a year and a half." I explain.
