I have never begged anyone to stay,
But I said please that day.
We can work this out.
I have never prayed for anything so badly,
but I remember begging the universe that if it could hear me somehow,
all I want is a chance to make it work.
'I can't'...
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"Damn it." I mutter, fumbling to silence the alarm blaring beside me. It's 5 a.m., and this is the hour I'd usually get up, hit the gym, start the day with some semblance of control. But right now? I can barely muster the will to move.
I lie there, eyes closed, hand hovering over the snooze button, my body feeling like it's made of lead. There's no motivation, no fire left in me-just this raw, aching emptiness that's gnawed at me for a while.
Two weeks. Two goddamn weeks, and I'm falling apart. I'd gone years without her and they didn't feel this rough.
The house is a hollow shell, the silence inside thick and relentless. It's not just quiet-it's the kind of silence that shouts back at you, pointing out what's missing. I glance over at her side of the bed, catching a faint trace of her scent on the pillow. It's a lingering reminder, almost mocking, that she's not here and won't be anytime soon, until I can fix this mess.
I roll onto my side, staring at that empty space, the shape of what used to be there. The comfort of having her close, even when she was just in the next room or scrolling on her phone beside me, was something I took for granted. Just her presence anchored me, made everything feel a little more bearable. Now? There's no anchor, nothing grounding me.
I don't know how I'm going to make it through today. The thought of getting out of this bed feels like a monumental task, let alone handling whatever the day throws at me. How am I supposed to get through another night like this?another tomorrow? another week?
The alarm blares again, snapping me out of it with brutal persistence. This time, I silence it with a decisive slap, muttering a few choice words as I force myself out of bed.
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It's hard to believe two weeks have passed since we left Hartford, the time feels longer. We are not supposed to give away our location, whether intentionally or unintentionally, making this whole experience feel even more suffocating and somewhat lonely. However, the warm Sicilian air and my parents' company have been a nice addition and distraction from my current circumstances...this tends to feel more like a family holiday sometimes.
The house here is... like a dream, really. We're staying in this stunning villa, right on a private beach along the Mediterranean. The view is unreal-the water is so clear, and the sand is that perfect golden color you see in postcards. The house itself feels like something out of a classic Sicilian architecture, but with a modern twist. The stone walls are sun-washed, and those huge arched windows let in all this amazing light for like 6 hours a day. It's so open and airy, and it just feels... calm.
