The Grean Household

41: No Easy Way Out

There was a piece missing in the household. An energy that was beginning to fade. Hopelessness was taking its place in all of their hearts.

Sammy was getting sent home more often, always being in trouble for being in fights with people who decided to push him too far. Henrik was trying to work through, and Sarah was trying to cope with the fact that she failed to protect her children, again.

It was late night, the winter seeming cold, lonely, and endless. An infinite time where sorrow was the only thing they felt. A time where Henrik could see the hopelessness registering in his wife's eyes. It was Sarah who was giving up. 

She'd cry every night, holding onto him as if she'd lose him too. Sarah would walk through the hallways of the hospital, wondering if anything was worth it. A part of her screamed that she still had children to protect, but the part she was beginning to listen to was a whisper in her mind. A plan was formulating despite her knowing that it was selfish at the moment. That only made the pain worse.

Sarah suggested that they assume the worst and hold a service for their daughter. Henrik instantly said no, a bit of snarl on the end of his tone. It was the way he said it that made Sarah snap. The realization that she was breaking down was when she hit Henrik in the shoulder, tears streaming down her eyes. He stared at her in disbelief, though not disappointment. More so that he understood what she was feeling and only wanted to help.

She's not coming back. Sarah wailed, her screams always driving shivers down Sammy's spine. 

He'd attempt to run out the front door and take a walk around the block, but the sudden fear that Willow's kidnappers would come again glued him to his bed. He'd put in both headphones and bury his face underneath the pillow, turning the volume up so he never had the chance to hear the heartbreak in his mother's voice.

Henrik held her hands together, staring down at her. Maybe it was the fact that she may be right, or that she had gotten to this point that made him cry. 

I have faith in Willow. He said shakily as if trying to convince himself of his own sentence. 

She'll fight. She'll come back to us. Sarah cried into his knuckles, almost wondering if his firm statement could carry luck on it. She wanted to believe him, but there was always the small voice in the back of her head telling her the worst happened.

It was particularly cold, the wind howling in the never ending winter. Henrik was reading a book, always rushing to his phone if he heard a notification. Sarah sat on her side, staring out the window. Snow painted the beautiful rooftops, the seemingly thick curtain of winter separating the neighborhood in half. It seemed like a cold heaven out past the few streets.

Maybe it was the sight of white that triggered something, or maybe the hopelessness finally piled up in an unbreakable way. Sarah breathed shakily, slowly getting  up. 

This is selfish. She thought. 

As she passed by her husband, she squeezed his calf, a small sign of her appreciation. She slipped out of their bedroom and slowly walked to her son's room. When she stood in the doorway, watching Sammy try and power through his homework despite the fresh healing scars on his arms always bothering him, it almost made her turn back. 

He took a head phone out, turning back to her. It was the way his eyes still shined bright that made it more difficult than it had to be. Maybe it was that her plan was never solid and never would be.

Sarah walked up to Sammy and ruffled his hair, staring at his features. The way he looked so similar to Henrik, yet so different made each breath sting. She told him she loved him, hugging him close. Sammy hugged back, his body shuddering as tears began to form. The absence of a little bit of love in the home was detrimental to all of their health's. She got up, leaving him to finish his homework.

It felt surreal, panic rising in her chest as she made her final steps to the upstairs bathroom. When she got inside, she closed the door softly. Tears started to run down her face as she pressed her finger into the lock.

Then, she stood in front of the mirror, staring at her face. Her age started to show but that was never a priority for her. It wasn't now. 

Sarah shakily pulled open the mirror cabinet, staring at the array of medication on the small shelves. She took one in her hand, examining it, hearing the tablets inside. It felt selfish to take a prescription that wasn't for her, but rather for Henrik- her husband. Something he took for the multiple diagnosed mental disorders that haunted him, but somehow was always kept covered. He hid it too well, so much so that Henrik had to tell Sarah because she found pills in his bathroom at one point and feared he was an addict. That was never the case. 

Taking off the tops, she stared at the pills below. Her heart was beating inside her chest, the overwhelming fear of the end almost making her turn back. But like her mother always said to her, she was brave and stubborn. So brave and stubborn that she did what she thought was best instead of listening to other people's opinions.

Outside, it was the prolonged audio cues that suddenly piqued Henrik's interest. He put his book down and craned his neck to peer out into the hallway. It was dark and still. Henrik heard the bathroom door shut awhile ago and Sarah never came back. It was curiosity that drove him to get up, sudden panic as he thought about a worst case scenario as he tried to open the door.

Alarms blared when he knocked to no answer. He called her name, expecting to hear a wail, but instead heard nothing at all. Henrik demanded she open the door, both of his hands fiddling with the handle. Henrik called her name again, hoping to hear at least any kind of response. There was nothing.

Pure silence.

Then, by putting his ear to the door, Henrik heard a thud. It was the final straw. He started to fiddle with the door handle, using his strength to try and get through. Ramming his shoulder into the crack, he ignored the pain beginning to burn within. Nothing was more important than getting to the other side of the door.

Sammy peered down the hallway, noticing how frantic his father was, still ramming the door with his shoulder. The wood began to splinter, the cracking echoing in the house. Henrik grunted loudly, growling in frustration as the door still continued to hold. Sammy called out, growing afraid, even more so when Henrik told him to dial 911.

Sammy fished out his phone, hands shaking as he watched his father ram the door with his shoulder once again. Then, he took a step back and brought his knee up to his chest, aligning his foot with the door. With a quick breath, Henrik kicked the door right at the handle. The wood splintered and cracked and the door swung up, being slowed to a stop with something blocking the way. 

Henrik disappeared into the bathroom. Sammy heard his mutters of German curses. On his phone, the operator asked what his emergency was. It was then he started to cry, biting his nails as he heard Henrik's voice repeat Sarah's name, along with a string of "Oh no's"

Tears began to flow as he craned his neck into the bathroom, noticing that his father was frantically checking her pulse. Sammy tried to explain what he thought was happening, standing there frozen as his mother lay there motionless. Henrik groaned out, fixing his fist on her sternum, trying to pump air into her.

He stayed like that, trying to keep the life within his wife. Soon, the knocking was at their door. Sammy answered it quickly. There was a fear to the authorities Sammy couldn't explain. He stepped away, breath getting caught in his throat. Then, he glanced up the stairs, watching as his father quickly carried his mother down and placed her on the stretcher. 

Before Sammy could even rush to get his shoes on, Henrik stopped him.

 "Stay here," His father breathlessly said. He could tell Henrik was panicking, though trying to keep calm in front of his son. Sammy didn't have the words to protest, nor did he have the energy. Anxiety kept him shaking and that took everything out of him. 

"Mom-" That was the only word he could mutter. Before Henrik left him behind in the house, he looked at his young boy, trying to give off the impression that he was sure, though he was uncertain of Sarah's fate.

"She's gonna be okay."