i woke up super late after the long night with kevin. when i finally did kevin was at the house, i felt like i couldn't tell hunter while kevin was here so i didn't. i didn't tell hunter even though i should have.
kevin and i made a weird kind of eye contact from across the room. the only other person that was there that night was cal, and he didn't really know the history of kevin's life.
i didn't know how bad it was until he left that night.
***
i remember seeing cal and andre walking by my house. i had nothing to do so i opened my window and yelled at them from there.
"andreeee calll" i yelled
the both turned there heads to me, andre had the camera in his hand also pointing at me. i stuck my tongue out like a little kid for the camera.
"you guys it's hot outside and i'm bored as fuck, come in, come in" i said moving my arm for them to come inside.
andre and cal looked at each other and then andre shrugged before nodding and then they both made there way to the door.
i ran around my room to the front door with an unlit cigarette in my mouth. i opened the front door and let them in.
"hello" i mumbled while grabbing my lighter to light my cigarette. i took a long drag before speaking again, "want something to drink, we have some coke, lemonade, some random ass beer from alex"
"That's me!" alex yelled from 'his' chair in the living room.
"we also have water" i said.
cal and andre didn't say anything, "you know what the cups are over there just do whatever." i said. that's when i noticed the way cal was looking at me. he was looking at my 'outfit'. it wasn't in an impolite way... more of an unexpected way. i wasn't wearing anything special, just a normal tank top and some men's boxers i got for myself to sleep in.
when cal finally noticed me staring at him he looked away as fast as he could. i just smiled and smoked a little more and what not.
i sat in one of the dining room chairs we had as alex was rambling on about something to kevin. kevin wasn't listening, but not like the normal not listening to alex's rants kind of way. it was more of an i-cant-concentrate-on-anything-for-so-long kind of not listening. instead of doing anything about it even at least asking if he was okay i just continued to smoke.
"did anyone else want a cigarette?" i asked. "or no just take mine if you want a drag" i changed my mind.
andre came over and took the cigarette from my hand and took a very long drag before giving to cal who also look a long drag.
"do you guys wanna go do something or just watch a movie i don't care" i shrugged, "i was just bored as hell. i don't know why i called you guys here"
"i don't care" andre said emotionless.
"okay... i mean let's look at my film collection shall we?"
i scattered through all my movies trying to find one they might like to watch. but i'm a cheerleader, scream, rushmore, requiem for a dream, mallrats, fight club...
"wanna rewatch fight club" i said
andre shrugged
"sure" cal said
i put the tap in waited for the movie to start
-
cal and i were sitting next to each other, very close, our legs were almost touching. i blushed a little bit trying not to make it obvious.
cal moved his leg a little bit closer to me, our knees were touching. i think he knew what he was doing because at the same time he moved his arm up, hand behind his neck.
i turned my head slightly to see if i could catch a glimpse of his face. he must have had the same idea because we locked eyes and immediately turned our head back to the film, very embarrassed.
he slowly moved his arm so it rested on the back of the couch. i wanted so badly to lean into his touch but i was so scared, i don't know why because it was quite clear that he wanted me to lean on him as well. i eventually did, but hesitantly.
i felt andres eyes stare at us. i think he was fed up.
"if you guys are trying to fuck i'm leaving" andre said.
cal and i jumped from our comfortable positions in each others arms and sat right up, backs stiff and hands by our sides.
andre rolled his eyes and continued watching the movie.
-
when it was over we all joked about it a little before andre informed us of another party coming up soon.
"there's some party at my old friend jason's house tonight, i don't wanna go alone so if you guys go i'll go."
"oh" cal said, "i don't know man"
"well i'm gonna feel bad if i don't go"
"dude-"
"i mean i haven't seen this guy in so long-"
"okay andre i'll go damn"
"i'll come too, when is it"
"it's like tomorrow night. i can pick you both up"
i nodded.
"i should probably head out now, you coming cal?" andre asked, quite forcefully
"i'm gonna stay i think" cal said with his eyebrows furrowed.
"okay, your choice" andre said leaving.
"so... you gonna tell me what that was about?" i asked cal
"he knows i hate parties"
"it didn't sound that crazy"
"i know this jason guy it'll be annoying" cal said visually upset
"it's alright i'll be there, we can just say we went and then ditch after a bit i don't like parties either. "
he nodded.
i decided to take a chance and hugged cal. his hands instinctively wrapped right above my hips. it gave my butterflies. i was engulfed in his arms. i pulled my head away from his should and my hands rested on the side of his face as i looked at his face. his hands were still wrapped around my waist. i thought he might kiss me but the moment was interrupted by alex's loud ass voice.
"KIM" he yelled. cal and i jumped away from each other. alex entered the room. "did i walk in on something.." alex asked
"no what is it"
"your brother ordered takeout come eat with us, you can stay to if you want i don't know if we have a lot for you though" alex said.
"no it's cool my house isn't far." cal said
"oh are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" i asked
"no it's okay i'll be fine" cal smiled.
"okay"
i waved to cal from my window when he left, falling on my bed blushing at the thought of kissing him.
FUCK
snap out of it kim it's just a boy.
"KIM COME ON" i heard hunter yell from the kitchen.
i quickly got up to join everyone. smiling.
