i woke in the morning thinking only about seeing cal. he told me he was gonna see me today and i was so thankful for that.
it was about 12:30 when i woke up since i had such a long night the night before. i played a cassette tape with nothing but the cardigans on it. as i got dressed and ready for the day for the first time in ages, i danced to happy meal II by the Cardigans and it was wonderful.
i heard my door open, my heart skipped thinking maybe it was cal, but it was only alex.
"youre listening to the cardigans up in here?" he said
i stopped brushing my teeth for some second to say yes.
"ive gotta be so honest, i know i dont look it, but i fucking love the cardigans" alex joked
"really?" i said with a mouth full of toothpaste.
"yeah, you could probably sing this man, we should play together sometimes"
"yeah that would be cool" i said
alex began it play air guitar to the song. i laughed at him before he left.
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i had done absolutely everything to get ready. i washed my face, did my makeup, did my hair, got and outfit together, and cleaned my fucking room, but still after 3 hours cal hadnt called or come over or anything.
one of the reasons i was so happy for him to come over that day was because i knew he could keep my mind off of all the shit with kevin from the other night, but he wasnt here, and no matter what i did to try and distract myself i just couldnt stop think about it. i hadnt heard from kevin since last night either, i dont think anyone else had either.
my mind wouldnt stray away from kevin and all the things he said last night. he loved me? how? why? i did everything to try and stop thinking about it, i tried to watch a movie, i tried to listen to music, i tried to draw, i tried to play guitar, i even tried to play the piano and sing, but nothing helped.
i looked out the window to see if hunters car was still here today and to my surprise it was.
i walked into hunters room to see him still sleeping with jenna by his side. "hunter! i need the keys im going skating" i said
"what, oh kim- um okay just dont kill yourself please" he said reaching over to the bedside table with his keys on it and handing them to me. i grabbed them and got my stuff together, before changing, again, into some nice tights, a skirt and a sweater. i left the house in a hurry, it was cloudy, i think it was going to rain... dramatic.
when i got to the skating rink i got out quickly and put on my skates. it was a monday afternoon and not a single person was even there. i got out my little ipod and listened to more stuff by the cardigans. i glided across the ice and began to spin around to the music. and suddenly, there i was, not think of kevin, or cal, or anyone for that matter... and it was great.
as i swayed to the music i couldnt help but feel happy. i had no cares in the world in that moment and it felt like i was doing the right thing. i loved skating and i especially did in moments like these.
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so i skated for about 2 hours before heading out. i didnt want to go home, i wanted to have a nice day to myself. i still hadnt gotten a call from cal and i began to just lose hope.
i went to a record shop and looked around over and over again until the workers started looking at me weirdly since i had been there so long. then i went to the gas station that doesnt ID to get some cigarettes. by that point, my makeup had run all down my face due to the pouring rain and i was beginning to think about kevin and cal again.
