Whispered Promises Of Love

Chapter 23.

I had to do something about my emotions. When I entered my apartment after Katelyn declared her intent to end our relationship, I hoped that the incoming message on my phone would come from her. However, when I checked it, I discovered that it was indeed her.

She apologized for the breakup and explained that she felt it would be better to part ways before either of us got hurt. I knew that it had been my own fault that things had got to this point, yet my heart still came from the love I had for her. I flung my phone onto the couch and looked blank ahead.

Accepting that the person who meant everything to me had moved on was too great to bear. During the following weeks, I attempted to distract myself from work and other activities, yet Katelyn's face continued to appear in my thoughts: her captivating eyes, her laughter, and the feel of her skin against mine. I was consumed by my emotions and eventually realized that I needed to do something about it.

I nervously picked up my phone and dialed her number and my heart thumping with anticipation. After a few rings, she answered the questions. 'Hey,' she said, her voice sounding hesitant.

'Hey, Katelyn. I know it's been a while, but I really need to see you,' I said, my voice trembling. There was a long pause before she finally replied, 'I don't know if that's a good idea.'

I pleaded, and Katelyn reluctantly agreed to meet me at our favorite spot. When I got there, she was already seated on the bench, where we had shared countless conversations. She looked as beautiful as ever, but her eyes also revealed sadness that I had never seen before.

My hearts sank at sight. 'I'm sorry for everything that happened,' I told her, sitting next to her. 'I should have listened to you. I miss you so much, Katelyn.'

'Me too,' she said quietly, almost inaudibly. 'But it's too late now. It's better if we just move on.'

'A lump grew in my throat, yet I refused to shed my tears,' I murmured. Although my heart felt like it was breaking apart, I understood it. Deeply, I knew Katelyn was right - our relationship had been strained for many months, and our pasts were at the root of the problem.

We were not meant to be, not right now, and it was not good for either of us, although we both accepted it reluctantly. I apologize that this is how it all ended, Damien. Probably, there are some things you have not shared with me that would make more sense, but I never suspected that there could be so many aspects of my life that would become a problem when I was with someone.

When you came along, it was an immense shock. You started as jerk, and she laughed when he did. Nonetheless, you gradually became the only individual with whom I could talk about anything, and it was taking its toll on me.

I believe that I was not meant to be happy in this life or any other. Tears ran down my face, as I realized that although I was in love with you, it was not enough. Katelyn is worthy of the best life, whether with me or somebody else.

However, you do not let your past take away the possibility of joy in the future. I understand why this is occurring, yet I ponder if you are running away because of the dread of being hurt or turning out like your messed up parents. On the off chance that you have experienced what I did as a child and adolescent, at that point I think you would comprehend.

Simply because our encounters have not been the same, it does not mean that we cannot relate to it in some way. I love you, Katelyn, yet my heart aches to you. I know I may have fucked up in the beginning; however, I gained from my missteps and now you are kind of slapping me in the face in a manner because you did something comparable to what I had done, which befuddled me.

I understand why it may seem like I am running away, but that is not the case at all. Growing up, I was deprived of food and water and locked in rooms for hours or days - not to mention the sexual abuse I suffered when I was 12. This trauma stayed with me until I was 18, and I never spoke to anyone about it, because I was afraid of what my abuser might do to me and my family.

I eventually found the strength to stand up for myself, and abuse stopped. In terms of romantic partners, I only had two, and the first I fell in love with. The age gap between us was not an issue and we were inseparable. Even though I still had strong feelings for him, we were never able to make it work.

I believe he was worried about me facing the same trauma that I endured in the past in our relationship.

He believed that I would do to someone else what my family had done to me, even though I was scared of the feelings it raised in me. I was running from the trauma of the past, and I wanted a commitment from my second partner, which he was not willing to give.

It ended badly, and made me realize how much I wanted to change and evolve. I no longer wanted to hide in darkness, and I wanted to be honest with myself and everyone else. I am human after all, and it is hard for me to open up about this.

I do not want to lie, and I do not expect the same from others. Despite my fear of being alone, I am even more scared of being with someone who does not understand my weaknesses. Nobody is perfect and I am not pretending to be.

All I wish for is the opportunity to be accepted by who I am. As Katelyn opened up to me, I was overwhelmed by a sense of empathy and compassion. It was difficult to grasp the agony that she had been dealing with for a long time.

I grasped her hands and squeezed them gently. 'Katelyn,' I said, 'I can't even imagine what you have gone through, but I want to be here for you. I admit that I made mistakes when we first met, but I am learning a lot on this journey.

If you let me, I'd like to accompany you on your way to recovery.' Her eyes are filled with appreciation and surprise. 'Do you really mean it?'

she whispered. 'I do,' I replied. 'I will do whatever I can to help.

And I want you to know that you no longer need to stay in the darkness.' Katelyn hugged me tightly, and her head rested against my chest. She sobbed a heartfelt 'Thank you' for my understanding and not passing judgment.

I embraced her tightly, gently running my fingers through her hair, and allowing my own tears to flow freely down my face. Although I could not find a solution to this problem, I still showed her love. Whispering softly, I told her that we would start from that moment and move forward slowly and steadily, doing our best to make things better.

She nodded in agreement, and her expression was softened. 'That sounds nice,' she said. We spent the rest of the evening talking and getting to know each other better.

This was not easy, but it was worth it. By the end of the night, we had reached a consensus to focus on ourselves first. For the following weeks, Katelyn and I worked hard to achieve their respective goals and ambitions.

" Although not always easy, we provided one another with a supportive shoulder throughout our journey. We would often go for walks in the park and chat about anything and everything; we also sought counseling services to work through any leftover trauma from our past. The patient gradually healed and progressed.

One day, while seated on the same bench, we shared our first kiss, Katelyn gazed at me with a determined look at her eye. "Damien," she said firmly, "I want to get back into dating." My heart raced at the prospect of being with her again, yet I wanted to make sure she was fully sure.

"Are you sure?" I inquired, ensuring that she was ready. The patient agreed to nodding.

"I've been actively working on myself and I'm prepared for another relationship now." As she said, I felt a complex mix of emotions. On the one hand, I was overjoyed that she had mustered the courage to start anew, but another part of me was scared that I might not have been enough for her.

"Katelyn," I said gently, placing my hand on hers, "I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you." Katelyn gaped at me with perplexed and grateful expressions on her face after I said, 'It's alright if you choose someone else instead of me as long as you're happy.' She quickly replied, 'Damien, I don't want to be with anyone else-I want to be with you.' I felt an immense wave of relief wash over me, and before I knew it we were in an embrace, our lips pressed together tenderly.

'I do too Katelyn-I want to be with you. But let us take our time and make sure we are both ready before we decide on anything further,' I murmured after pulling away from her kiss. She nodded silently, with a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

'I understand, Damien. I'm willing to wait for you.' We then spent the rest of the evening discussing our future plans: where we wanted to live, which career paths we wanted to take?