Elude [H.S.]

TWENTY-THREE

TW: Excessive drinking, physical and emotional abuse*

"And she's here because?" I ask, looking up at Conrad - clutching the wine glass in my hand.

The moment Heidi walked through the door of our home I immediately tracked him down to try and figure out what the hell was going on.

I watched as Conrad barely put his focus on me. He continued to give half smiles to colleagues and investors that walked by us while I waited for my answer.

"I had already invited her. It would've been rude to have uninvited her," Conrad replies and I clench my jaw so hard I feel I could break my teeth.

"No it wouldn't have been. You broke it off with her. You said you've been avoiding her when she's been blowing up your phone so you better be honest with me right now or I'm going upstairs for the rest of the night."

He scoffs and looks down at me, shaking his head. "Be my fucking guest, Maeve. I'm going to go and entertain our guests like a proper host."

My eyes follow him as he walks away and I gulp down the rest of my wine quickly before heading back over to the bar. This next glass would be my third of the night but I couldn't help it. My nerves had been shot this past week and a half. I found myself drinking more than I had in years just to get a bit of quiet when it came to all the thoughts rushing through my mind.

It was the Friday before Christmas and I had been nothing but miserable. I barely left the guest room - bringing books, food and alcohol in there so I could easily shut myself away. I had been switching back and forth between wine and vodka because I knew we had plenty of wine to spare, and Conrad doesn't like vodka so I knew he wouldn't notice the bottles missing.

Most of the time I spent my day with the door locked. I didn't want anyone to look at me. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. Even though I knew Conrad would be the only one to disturb me, it felt like an odd safety net having the door locked as well.

Conrad and I were worse than ever. Tonight was the first time I was actually looking at him since our big fight last week. We barely saw each other in passing and when we did I would do my best not to perceive him. The less attention I drew to myself the better - considering I had been drunk out of my mind almost the whole time.

What else was there for me to do when I had no job, no friends and no hobbies?

Nothing - that's what.

So instead of just wallowing there in my self pity, I decided I'd start with a bottle of wine while reading a book. That bottle soon turned into two and then three. Anytime I went past three I would black out and completely lose count. Earlier this week I had looked at the clock as I started my second bottle of wine and it read six in the evening. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the large armchair in the corner of the room where I had been reading and it was ten the next morning.