Elude [H.S.]

TWENTY-NINE

(You can start the song above at the beginning of the chapter.)

My body stirs in my bed as I can feel the heat from the slightest bit of sunlight coming through my bedroom window against my bare back. I groan softly, feeling more warm than usual in the morning, as my eyes open. I blink as they begin to focus and a smile perches itself on my lips as I see the back of Maeve's head - her body pressed flush against mine. I watch as ribcage expands with every sleep-filled breath she takes. The sight of her being in my bed again with me causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

For weeks this was all I wanted, missing the intimacy that she and I once shared, but now it's my reality once again. I tighten my arm around her waist just slightly, and pull her even closer to me - making sure to be as gentle as possible so that I won't disturb her. A sigh exhales through my nose before I bury it into her hair, the smell of my own shampoo filling my nostrils since she used my bath stuff last night. We were already under the stream of the shower before she realized she had left all of her toiletries in her bag, and she seemed almost embarrassed in asking to use mine.

I love the idea of her using my things while she's here more than she'll ever know.

The last thing I expected going into that party at Lyn and Grey's was leaving with Maeve and having her tangled in my bedsheets at two in the morning. As much as I wanted to have slow and intimate sex with her, I knew that wasn't happening once she told me to take her into the bedroom. It wasn't just her confidence that had me growing hard instantly, but also the discussion we had previously where she talked about just how much she wanted to be a mother.

I was in no place to have a child right now, and obviously neither is she, but, fuck, the idea of her walking around with my baby inside her round belly had my head spinning. I've always wanted to be a father, my ex and I having talked about it a lot throughout our relationship, but they were always just discussions. Never once did we sit down and actually talk about trying to have a baby together.

The moment the image of Maeve being pregnant flashed through my mind was when I knew I wouldn't be taking it slow or easy on her last night. I had almost suggested going at it raw again, but I knew that was a talk we needed to have prior to working ourselves up. My mind was completely fogged with lust, and I knew hers was as well.

When Maeve told me that she had spent Christmas alone, I felt that pit of guilt brew in my stomach again. The fact that Conrad left right after exchanging gifts, if you could even call his that, had my blood boiling.

I knew I should have called her that night.

I'm not sure whether or not a phone call from me on Christmas would've made things better or worse, but at least she would've known that someone was thinking about her. Maeve stirs slightly against me, causing me to lift my head out of her hair as her bare back snuggles against my chest a little more. Neither of us had put pajamas or underwear on after showering. We were both extremely exhausted and just wanted to lay down - holding each other while we drifted off to sleep.