Elude [H.S.]

FIFTY-SIX

Today was our last day here in Maine with Maeve's family. This trip was everything I wanted for her. She reconnected with her parents and Mason, she saw Mallory while she was here, and we were even able to create some memories of our own.

I was currently in her old bedroom, pulling on a pair of jeans with a plain yellow shirt before tugging on the patchwork cardigan she had gotten me for my birthday.

We said goodbye to Mason last night as he had to work this morning. It was extremely tearful for both of them, but it really hit Maeve last night when we were laying in bed. Much like when she was deep into having her nightmares, I held her close to me, shushing her softly as I stroked my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep.

This morning when she woke up, and we were laying in bed before going downstairs where we could hear her parents moving around the kitchen, Maeve apologized to me over and over again for how emotional she got. Eventually, I managed to have her pause to let me speak, and I told her she had nothing to apologize to me for.

Just as I've done time and time again, I reassured her that helping her work through her emotions, or just being someone to lean on, is why I'm here. The last thing she'll ever need to do is feel guilty for letting that side of herself come out full force to me. I told her that if anything, it also makes me feel loved that she can be so vulnerable around me.

Speaking of vulnerability, I've also given into my own. That first night when I talked to Maeve about potentially staying a bit longer if she needed to was the second hardest conversation I've ever had with her - the first one being when he split up after Thanksgiving. However, I knew I had to offer it to her.

I finally let her in on the fear that I had of her eventually resenting me, but her response to that brought me nothing but comfort. Even if she were to change her mind the second we start to pack the car to leave, and she chooses to stay, I'd let her. I'd let her because I love her. I'd let her because I would know it's what she would need to do for herself at this point and time.

I'd let her in the hopes that she would return to me in New York, and if she didn't ever want to, then that's just something we'd have to deal with if it ever came to that.

I clear away those thoughts as I gather our bags and place them outside of Maeve's room to easily grab once we're ready to head out.

As I walk back down the stairs, I can hear that Jane and Stewart are still in the kitchen - cleaning up the breakfast they had made before they had to see us off. Jane hears me as I step into the room, and she sends me a smile over her shoulder.

I peer into both the dining room and living room, but I don't see Maeve anywhere.

"She's outside feeding the horses," Jane says, and I look back at her as she dries a plate off with a dish towel before handing it to Stewart to put in the cabinet. "She said you both had talked about feeding them while you were here, but she had forgotten. She wanted to make sure you did it before you left."