Worthy of love

Christmas #3

By the time the movie ended everyone had fallen asleep expect El. Max was snuggled into her their hands still linked together.

EL POV
I sighed a little as I stared ahead. I looked down turned Max's hand so I could see her cut up wrists. Most of them were faded and looked old but..some didn't. The cuts trailed along her wrist some bigger then the others. I carefully ran my hands along the faded cuts a small frown on my face.
"El..?" Nancy whispered as she sat up.
"What are you doing awake?"
I turned to look at her with a bigger frown than before.
Nancy walked over to me and carefully sat down a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She took a look down at Max's wrists and bit her lip to hide her gasp. I just nodded avoiding eye contact. I wanted to know why she would do this to herself. It's not like it would help anything, it might give a sort of relief. But, she doesn't deserve this.. no one deserves it. Nancy noticed my mood and decided to change the topic Gently covering our hands with the blanket that was resting on my lap.
"Robin wants to make Max her "Official sister" whatever that mean" she whispered with a laugh.
I smirked as I noticed her eye light up at the topic of Robin Buckley her cheeks turning a light pink as she talked.
"Sooo....Robin huh?" I smirked.
Her face flushed pale white as I could tell she got nervous.
"Yeah..what about her?" She asked with weak nervous smile.
"Your totally in love!" I yelled.
Nancy quickly covered my mouth with her hand her eyes wide as Max stirred a little.
"Shut up!" She whispered yelled.
I just giggled as I looked over at Robin. She was sleeping like a complete weirdo. She was in a recliner, upside down.
"She's so weird" I whispered rolling my eyes.
"Yeah weird..but cute" Nancy smiles as she looked over at Robin.
I raised my eyebrow at her a smirk on my face, she shot me a glance but rolled her eyes looking away from me with a light blush.
"Why don't you tell her how you feel?" I asked quietly.
"Steve..he's her best friend and Robin told me he still likes me..I don't want to hurt him and neither does Robin"
I tilted my head at her furrowing my eye brows.
"You've talked to her about this already?" I asked.
Nancy nodded biting her lip.
"We kissed she told me about Steve and we both agreed to just be friends but.." she laughed a little as she trailed off.
"I'm still so fucking in love with her and Robin the second after we kissed started talking to stupid Vickie"
I sighed softly through my nose as I listened carefully.
"Oh..I'm sorry Nance" I whispered.
She just shrugged.
"Get some rest okay? We have a big day tomorrow" she smiles before going back to her spot on the floor.
I watched her leave and lay down before turning my attention to Max. She looked so peaceful as she slept. Her face was so relaxed. I sighed as I tucked hair behind her ear.

MAXS POV
I woke up the next morning before everyone. I shot up and shook El. Christmas was my favorite holiday ever! The spirit of Christmas was my favorite thing about it. I loved snow and all the jazz that comes with it sledding, snowboarding, snowball fights, all of it is just so much fun. Now I have a family to spend it with and I'm happier than ever. El groaned as I shook her. Somehow we were still holding hands I looked down at my cut up wrist. The recent cuts were in a shape of an E. I don't know why I cut it in the shape of an E but I hope she didn't notice it. El opened her eyes slightly and smiled at me. 

"It's Christmas!" I had a huge smile across my face.
"Yes it is!" She said hugging me tightly.
I giggled as I leaned into her.
"I need to talk to you though okay?" El whispered in my ear.
I groaned. I know this is about the cuts she saw them. I didn't want to talk about it, it makes me feel worse about myself.
"El I'm fine" I mumbled.
"No Max your not fine and we are going to talk about it"
"Your not my mom" I muttered and immediately regretted it.
"Yeah well, your mom isn't here is she?" She said harshly.
I stared at her.
"Really? Don't talk about my mom"
El scoffed.
"She doesn't deserve to be called that...look I just want to look out for you. Your cutting yourself Max and your acting like everything's okay but it's not"
"You just made it worse El! Don't you fucking get it? Your always talking about my family or my shitty life"
El stared back at me for a moment before standing up.
"Fuck you" she mumbled before walking to the bathroom.
I sat there for a moment just staring ahead of me.

EL POV
I hurried to the bathroom a little upset not only with Max but myself. I know her family is a sensitive topic for her and I just started talking shit, then to make mattered worse I had to say "fuck you", All I want to do it help her but she makes it impossible. It's like she wants to be hurt.

A few minutes later I came out of the bathroom to find everyone gathered around the tree each holding a present expect Will.
"These presents are from me" Will said patting the spot down next to him, were a present was waiting for me. He must've heard my conversation this morning with Max because she  was across the room from me. I could feel her eyes on me but I wouldn't look at her. We started going down the line everyone opening there present individually. Soon it was Max's turn to give people her gifts. She stood up and grabbed two for everyone, when I say everyone I mean everyone in that house. Everyone parents little siblings, even Ted, Mikes dad got a present...TWO PRESENTS!

She walked over to Me holding four boxes and two bags. Of course she got me more stuff then everyone. She smiled a little at me but I didn't return it. I watched her walk back to her spot mumbling something to herself.

I was the last one to open every gift so when my turn came around to open Max's gift everyone was done and had huge smiles on their faces, staring at me. From what I have noticed Max is an amazing gift giver. She has been observing and learning about everyone this past month and got them each very unique and amazing things. She even made Ted crack a smile. I opened the smallest box first which was a necklace with a silver heart, the word "Ellie" in graved on the heart. I smile softly and put the necklace on. The rest of the gifts she gave me were basically the same thing, jewelry and clothing. I mean it is what I asked for, But what I didn't expect is for her to give me another present, a huge gift. I looked at her with a confused expression before opening the gift up. Everyone's attention wasn't focused on me anymore maybe that's why she gave it to me now. The gift was a beginners drum set. I tilted my head and looked at her super confused how she knew I was into music, especially drums. She just smirked and shrugged, walking back to Nancy.

After giving gifts and hanging out for a little bit we all decided to go outside. I still haven't talked to Max and she hasn't gone to talk to me either so I guess neither of us cared, I mean I did care.. a lot. I felt horrible about what I said to her and just wanted to talk with her.

MAXS POV
We were going sledding since it finally snowed, a lot! I was so excited that I was the first one out there. I had to get the best sled because.. otherwise I would get to the stupid wooden one that give you splinters. Well it would get me splinters and Robin since we can't really afford any snow gear. While everyone put on coats, extra layer of pants, gloves, hats, all that stuff Robin and I just got coats. We focused all of our money on the bills and food. I mean I spent all my savings on my gifts for everybody but I will never tell them I got most of them from garage sales. I looked around and smiled when I finally found it, the perfect sled.

After sledding El grabbed my hand pulling me into the bathroom.
"We need to talk" she said bluntly her face super serious it almost made me want to laugh.
"Mhm" I agreed.
"Look, I'm really sorry about this morning I was just upset and confused why you don't want someone to help you. I shouldn't have said those things and I feel horrible"
I smiled a little as I put my hand in hers.
"I don't want help because I don't want people to waste there time on me" I explained tucking hair behind her ear.
She just nodded her shoulders relaxing a little. She was probably waiting for me to punch her or something. I rolled my eyes a little looking away from El.
"Let's go watch a movie with the others" I said smiling as I led her out of the bathroom.