Worthy of love

Why?

Els POV-
I hate myself

I was walking home the morning after Max's New Years Party, kicking a small rock I found on the side walk. I never wanted to just be friends with Max but..I think we rushed into things at first.
"El wait!"
Mike
I put on a smile and stopped walking so I could turn to face him. He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and I mentally cursed myself for agreeing to date him. Truth was...I was drunk, completely wasted. I don't love Mike, not romantically but I don't wanna hurt him. I don't even remember anything from last night but Robin angrily reminded me before I left. 

Mike snapped his fingers in front of my face to get my attention.
"El?"
"Hm!?" I said snapping back into reality.
He smiled and rubbed my shoulder gently.
"Robin wants to speak with you for a moment"
I stared at Mike for a moment, his smile, it reminded me of Max's.
"Are you alright?" Mike asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Yeah..yeah I'm fine" I smiled before making my way back into Robins apartment.

Once I got up to the apartment door I raised my hand to knock but immediately stopped myself. I could hear the small sobs of Max and Robin comforting her by whispering reassuring words to her. My heart felt like it stopped and my eyelids quickly became heavy. I gently placed my forehead on the door and closed my eyes, listening to the painful sobs.
"Why..? Why Robin?" Max cried out.
I felt like my throat starting closing, regret appearing on every part of my face.
"Why won't you knock?"
I jumped a bit as I quickly turned around to see the one and only Micheal Wheeler.
"Oh..I uh..they sound-" I stumbled over my words.
Mike sighed.
"We..we don't work..I know you were drunk Eleven.."
I could see the hurt in his eyes as he avoided looking at me.
Is that all I do? Hurt people..
"Mike.."
"No..save it" He walked away his hands in his pockets.

I turned back to the door not really feeling much for the situation besides guilt. Max's sobs were getting louder and I could tell Robin was struggling to calm her down.
"Max just breathe" Robin said pretty loud.
I listens as Max started breathing loudly her sobs more clear now.
"Shit.." I mumbled.
I ran a hand through my hair before barging into the apartment, not bothering to knock. I pushed Robin out of the way and quickly took Max into my arms.
"I'm here..I'm right here, baby, okay?" I whispered rubbing small circles into her back.
Max quickly buried her face into my shoulder, muffling her sobs.
"Why him Ellie..? Why him?" She asked her voice cracking.
My heart broke and I looked over at Robin who was already glaring at me. I gulped loudly before gently pulling Max's face off my shoulder and caressing her cheeks.
"I don't love Mike..I was drunk" I whispered kissing gently bringing her head closer to mine bringing our foreheads together.
"I love you sweetheart..I love you no one else" I tucked a stand of hair behind her ear.
"Then why did you break up with me?" She asked pulling away a bit.
I inhaled slowly before letting out a loud sigh.
"I..I thought we rushed into things way to fast..but I-I don't think that anymore, my love"
I wiped the tears off her face and placed a gentle kiss on her nose.
"I love you"

Max's pov-
What the fuck
I don't know what to feel right now.
Anger?
Sadness?
Happy?
I was feeling so much in this moment that it was overwhelming. After she kissed my nose I decided to let some anger out..I slapped her, hard.
She groaned and quickly brought her hand up to her cheek.
"No! Y-you don't get to do this! I-I don't love you..I hate you!" I yelled immediately regretting it. 
El stared at me not saying a word. She started blinking rapidly a few moments later. I stared right back at trying not to show the intense amount of regret I was feeling.
"Leave me alone Eleven. I don't ever want to see you again" I said through clenched teeth.
I harshly pushed her away causing her to fall. Intense regret flashes through me as I hurried away to my room.

Why did I do that?

Els pov-

I could feel Robins eyes on me as I stood up, quickly wiping the tears out of my eyes.
"El.."
"Hm?" I hummed.
"She doesn't hate you, I'll talk to her, alright?"
I nodded avoiding meeting her eyes.
"Go home" Robin said softly as she hurried to Max's room.