Adopted By One Direction [Completed]

Ch.12

Lili:

As someone who went through hell I find it hard to believe that when people yell they have no intention of hurting me.  I hate when people yell at me.  So if I'm quiet I can't start arguments.

Talking makes everything worse.  I've experienced that first hand.  Every time I open my mouth something new happens.  Today it was with Harry.

I don't blame him, why should I?  It was obviously my fault and I'll take the blame for that.  The only thing I'm not accepting is why he told me he didn't want me. 

I'm promblamatic, what do you expect from an adopted kid?  I've been through so much that it's just nature to be so closed off.  It's just my nature to not want anything to do with anyone.  I thought people understood that?

Alone in the room I sit.  Total runs around the room, bumping in to things.  Normally I'd laugh, but now I'm just not feeling it.  Even though it is a little funny.

My body shakes.  I'm running out of air. But I can't bring myself to get help.  I know they won't really care.  They'll just tell me to breathe.

I want to know how to breathe, though.

I'm not getting anywhere asking for help. Isn't what I want to be strong? Don't I want to forget my horrible past?

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do it.  Im just lost. In my own little world. I can't escape.

They can't fix me without breaking me more.