Goodnight and Go

Chapter 39 - Ako Nalang

Andrei Sevyn's POV

I sat on the bar, drinking vodka and smoking cigarette as I watched Vega have fun on the dance floor.

"Babae mo sir?" Tanong sakin ng bartender. I'm a regular customer here so magkakilala naman kami.

"Medyo." Sagot ko.

Medyo ampota.

"Ang dami nang lumalapit tska nakikisayaw sakanya."

I blew out smoke into the air as I watched Vega seductively sway her hips to the music.

"It's okay, she's having fun. Basta wala lang humawak sakanya para walang masaktan."

Half an hour later, bigla kong napansin na paalis na si Vega sa dance floor, at may lalaking humahatak sakanya. Dali dali akong tumayo at humarang sa dadaanan nila.

"Where are you going?"

"Uy, andito ka pa pala."

"Yes, dahil binabantayan kita. San ka nga pupunta?"

She whispered something to the guy tapos nauna nang lumabas.

"Sino yun? San ka pupunta?"

If we were in a normal situation, baka sinigawan ko na to dahil parang bingi. Tatlong beses ko nang inulit yung tanong ko.

"I know what I need, Sevyn."

Nag loading yung utak ko for a few seconds kung anong ibig niya sabihin, pero naalala ko naman na that's where our conversation ended kanina. Yung di naman daw niya kailangan ng yakap dahil di siya iiyak.

"Ano? What do you need?"

Tumingkayad siya saka kumapit sa balikat ko to reach my ear para makabulong siya. "One night stand."

She was basically doing a little happy jump as she waited for my reaction.

"Nababaliw ka na ba, Vega Beatrice?"

She crossed her arms and frowned.

"Anong mababago nun? Mababawi ba yung pagchi-cheat sayo nung ex mo?"

"No. But at least I'll understand how he felt and why he did it."

Napahilamos ako ng mukha. Parang gusto ko na iumpog yung ulo ni Vega baka sakali maayos yung pag iisip niya.

"Vega naman. Diba sabi mo special ang sex para sayo? Sabi mo you won't let anyone in unless you want to let them in your heart and mind. Sabi mo di mo basta basta ibibigay yung sarili mo sa iba."

"Fuck that. If I kept letting a guy in, physically... baka my ex, his fiancé and his newborn daughter wouldn't be in my mind right now."

"Akala ko ba matalino ka, Vega? You're saying a lot of nonsense right now."

"I thought about what you said. Nakikipag one night stand ka kasi it feels good for you na you can be with someone without attachment, without feelings–"

I immediately cut her off. "Shut up, Vega. Wag na wag mo yun gagayahin. Halika na iuuwi na kita."

I grabbed her hand pero agad din siyang nag pumiglas.

"Hindi ko maintindihan ba't niya nagawa yun sakin, Sevyn!! Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano yung sumagi sa isip niya o ano yung naramdaman niya before, during, and after!!"

Vega said this with so much anger... tapos dahan dahang humupa yung galit niya at napalitan ng desperation.

"If I do this... baka sakali maintindihan ko yung nagawa niya. Baka sakaling mapatawad ko siya at maging okay na ako."

Ayoko nang dumagdag pa sa frustrations niya so I just let her go.

"Okay, if that's what you need. Pero promise me na mag iingat ka."

I continued smoking as I watched Vega walk away. I pinched the bridge of my nose and tapped my finger on the counter dahil di ko mapakali.

"Fuck it." Bulong ko sa sarili ko.

I put out my cigarette and ran after her.

"Vega. Wait." Sabi ko as I reached for her arm to stop her from walking.

"Umm..." Ang tanging nasabi ko nang mapaharap ko na siya sakin.

"Sevyn, ano ba!"

Akmang tatalikod na ulit siya pero hinawakan ko ulit yung braso niya para humarap ulit siya sakin at magtama ang mga mata namin.

"Ako nalang, Vega." I said. "Ako nalang. Kesa mapunta ka sa iba."