secrets.

Chapter 2

Once we arrived, me and Eddie went to asses the injured guy, who had a Grenade in his leg. "Uhm buck." "What." I replied, in a punk tone. "This grenade is active." "WHAT" I shouted, "dispatch this is Buckley from 118, we need the bomb squad here NOW we have a man, mid 50s, with an active grenade wenched in his femur."  "We can't twist this bomb, I've seen these in the army, if we move it, it WILL explode Buckley." Eddie states. "Okay smartass then what do we do." "Follow my lead" he says, lifting the guy up slowly and guiding him into the ambulance.

Once the bomb squad arrived, me and Eddie where given a bomb box to put the grenade into once we got it out of his leg. "Okay I'll remove it Buckley, you make sure to have the box ready and don't let him bleed out." "Okay, got it." I reply. Once we got the grenade out the man's leg and into the box, we took the box and gave it to the bomb squad, while the guy was taken to hospital. "We make a good team Buck, maybe you could have my back?" He says to me, with a smile. God he had such a pretty smile, it was hard to hate him. "Yeah, or you can have mine" I respond, also with a smile, and we hug. He felt so warm, and I knew I didn't hate him today, I was jealous of him, and also crushing on him a little, so I acted like a dick to hide the fact I was scared that I fancied a guy. I would never tell him tho, never.

"Good job today boys, proud of you both." Captain nash says to us, "yeah, Buck was quite the hero." Eddie replies. "Me? No man it was you who was the hero, if it weren't for you that man wouldn't be alive." I say, truthfully. "It was a Team effort, nice working with you Buckley." "Back at you Diaz." I say, before hoping back into the truck.

Once I got home that night, I found Eddie on insta and Facebook, added him and then proceeded to stalk him all night. I wanted to get to know him, as a friend ofcourse, I had feelings for him, he was a hot guy, but I am straight. I thought I was straight anyways, I don't know anymore, all I know is I can never tell him, ever.

After I finished stalking Eddie, who now I know has an adorable kid, I jump in the shower, put a pair of shorts and an oversized shirt on and climbed into bed. I was so tired after todays events, but no matter how hard I tried, I just could not sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Eddie, his beautiful brown eyes, his fluffy, dark hair, his amazing biceps, gorgeous smile and his outstanding figure. I wanted him. I wanted to kiss him, hug him, cuddle with him and other unspeakable shit, I had a full on crush on a man, am I gay? Am I bi? What am I? He's 100% straight, he has a child ffs. But me, I'm not sure what I am anymore. I'm absolutely disgusting for having thoughts like this am I not? I hate that I feel like this for a man. I just wanna get sleep. I just wanna forget about Eddie fucking Diaz.

After a night of tossing and turning, it was finally 6am, and time for me to get up. I go for a shower, like I do every morning, then I get dressed for work, I skipped breakfast today and headed straight to work. The whole car ride there, I was sitting in silence, thinking about how I was gonna see Eddie today after spending all night lusting over him, I wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry my heart out, but I didn't, I made it into work and went straight up to the table, where I was greeted by hen, chim, Eddie and Bobby. "Hey Buck, you alright?" Hen asked as I sat down. "Yeah I'm good, how about you guys." "Yeah we're good" everyone responded to my question. It was pancakes day, I loved pancakes day, but I couldn't eat, I felt ill. Not because of a bug but because of the fact I fancied a fucking dude, who is sat across from me right now.

"Buck you love pancakes, why aren't you having any?" Hen asked, concerned. "I'm just not very hungry today, sorry." I replied, which was true, I felt awful today, I felt like everyone knew I was gay or whatever the fuck I am, I felt out of place, like I wasn't myself anymore. "Buck do you wanna talk about something? We're always here you know that buddy." Bobby added. "I'm okay, I think I'm just gonna go to the gym, enjoy !" I say, before heading down to the gym. A couple minutes later, Eddie comes down, and sits on the bench next to the pull up bar I was using. "Hey man, are you doing alright." Yes fucking perfect. Is what I wanted to say, but I just responses with a simple, "mhm great" "is it something I've done? You know I like u man, I wanna be mates, but if I've overstepped then let me know." He said, it was him, just not the way he thinks. "It's not you man, I'm js going through shit, I'll be fine. Anyways I wanna get to know u, what's ur life like man"  I say, changing subject. "Well I've got a kid, Christopher, who has cp, I'm an ex-army man, I'm 30 and uhm that's about it aha" "Awh cool, how olds your little one." "7" he answered me, before showing me a picture of him, I've already seen him as I was stalking him but he don't know that. "Awh adorable, I love kids." Before he could say anything, we got a call out.