Confusing Love

Forgetting about all of my friendships

I've been ignoring all of the phone calls and texts i have been getting from all of my friends. I didn't want to talk to anyone, i just wanted to stay in my room and not go outside of the house unless i had to, to get the mail or to try and find my cat. But multiple messages that were left for me, angry and upset ones, made me feel depressed and like i was forgetting everyone, and that wasn't fair.

''Hi'' I say, into the phone. I thought the first person i should message would be Sabrina. I explained everything that happened. And then i did the same to Elle and Alex.

The last person to call, was Ryan. I didn't want to, but i knew i had to. ''Ryan, look I'm sorry, i knew i shouldn't of kept that secret from you, i should of told you, but please believe me, i completely forgot because...i was hanging out with you and i was having such a great time and—-'' he cut me off ''Its okay'' and his phone crackled for a few seconds, i thought he was about to hang up on me, but before i could hang up before he did and hide underneath my blankets for another day, he began a sentence ''Its fine, I believe you...I'm not mad at you'' He whispers. It sounded like he's been crying. ''Can i come over...'' He asks suddenly. I smile slightly, but my smile quickly fades when i realize what a mess i probably look like, ive avoided mirrors for a few days, but now i think i need a hot shower, and fast. ''Uh, can you give me an hour?'' I respond. He agrees and we hang up.

After a 30 minute long hot shower, changing into a T-shirt and jeans, a little bit of makeup, and a quick cleaning around the house, i was ready for Ryan to come over.

When i hear a knock at the door, my stomach fills with butterflies, I'm scared. I don't really understand why, its just Ryan. I open the door, and my eyes fill with tears, i couldn't hold it in, i was so upset on everything that was happening. Ryan steps into the house and wraps his arms around me. ''Its okay'' He says. We sit on the couch and i stare at him. ''Why did you want to come over'' I ask, my voice croaky and quiet. ''I just wanted to see you'' He responds, smiling softly at me. I feel happier than i have felt in awhile. ''That's sweet'' I say, looking down at the couch and playing with a lose thread from a blanket laying next to me. He laughs softly. We just stare at each other for a few seconds, awkwardly. ''Do you want to make cookies?'' I ask suddenly. He smiles ''Sure'' he says. We listen to music, dance around and decorate some cookies. Afterwards we sit on the couch, sitting closely together, a blanket over us, with cookies and milk on the coffee table. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and hugs me close. I smile.