This is my first time writing a story so constructive criticism is allowed!
ɢɪʏᴜᴜ ᴛᴏᴍɪᴏᴋᴀ, ꜱᴀɴᴇᴍɪ ꜱʜɪɴᴀᴢᴜɢᴀᴡᴀ'ꜱ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ ʏᴇᴛ ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʜᴀᴛʀᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ?
⚠️ WARNING ⚠️: suicide attempts, sh, anorexia, bulimia, (smut potentially)
After we cleaned up the pancake mess, Shinazugawa said he was going to get changed because he was cold. He laid some new clothes out for me to keep me warm.
(The clothes:)
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I guess they are really comfy. I'll just wait for Shinazugawa outside the bathroom.
Shinazugawa finally comes out in his new clothes.
(What Sanemi is wearing:)
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I didn't know he liked the colour blue? I suppose there's a lot I don't know about him.
"Oi Tomioka, wanna go out in the snow?"
"Oh um sure."
"Alright let's go."
He climbs out of his living room window and gestures me to follow.
"You warm enough?"
I nod and then he throws a massive snowball at my head and laughs loudly,
"Tomioka you should see your fucking face! This is priceless I swear! Come on, get me back!"
Get him back? I should.
I crouch down to gather some snow before another snowball hits my head but this time I fall face first into the snow.
"Come on Tomioka you have to be quicker! You were begging for that snowball to hit you!"
"I guess I could go a bit faster..?"
"Ok good hurry up!"
This time I'm going to be much faster, Shinazugawa is quite aggressive so maybe I should throw it really hard at him, would he like that or..? He really confuses my brain. But I kind of like that.. This time I crouch down faster and make a snowball with a good density and I REALLY pack it.
I hesitate before deciding to chuck it right at his face.
It hits his face hard and he groans.
Oh shit.
"I'm so sorry Shinazugawa-san I was just thinking tha-"
"Shut up."
..
"That was the best fucking throw ive ever seen in my life! Fucking hell Tomioka where did you learn that?!"
Sabito.
Sabito taught me that. Just the sound of his name in my thoughts tighten my heart strings and threaten them to snap. It hurts so much. I'm so useless. Why cant I ever protect anyone..?
Hopeless Weakling Selfish Unworthy bitch
My eyes start to water and my vision goes blurry. Why am I such a weakling.
"Tomioka." "Tomioka." "Tomioka! Why are you crying? Is it because you feel guilty? Well don't. Because that snowball didn't even hurt that much. You need better aim shithead so stop acting so cocky."
"Oh sorry Shinazugawa-san."
"God. Sorry I got out of hand. I just don't like being ignored. What's wrong?"
"It's um.. it's nothing my eyes are just cold."
"Wait do you need more layers, or do you wanna go inside or..?"
I shake my head no. Why's he acting so nice to me?
"Um no I'm fine we can stay out here.. if that's alright.?"
"Yeah sure. Wanna build a snowman?"
A snowman? Hm, I do like making them.
"Sure."
"Ok I'll start with the bottom and you start with the middle"
Yeah I can do that. Im going to start rolling.
TIMESKIP:
By now I have a good middle sized ball. Shinazugawa calls me over to tell me to lift the snow ball onto the bigger one. As I'm rolling it, I feel my foot trip and I go smashing into the snowball I made. Damnit. I cant even roll a ball properly how useless am I?
"Sorry..I broke it."
"Thats fine. It was funny to watch to be honest. But I cant be arsed to make a new one so let's go back inside."
"Alright"
He helps me stand up and walks me over the window we got out from and we both climb in, still covered in snow.
"Do you wanna get back into our pyjamas and watch a movie?"
"Yeah I guess that's a good idea."
"Alright get changed in my room and I'll get changed in the bathroom again."
TIMESKIP:
"Um Shinazugawa-san I'm done changing you can come in now"
He walks in and he looks so...
So huggable.
"Alright get onto the bed and choose a movie whilst I get some hot chocolate and snacks."
He throws a couple blankets ontop of me before leaving the bedroom.
He's acting so nice to me ever since he found out about my wrists..is this just pity.? It has to be, but I wish it wasn't. I wish we could be friends..
He comes back in with hot chocolate and snacks.
"Haven't you picked a movie?"
"Oh sorry I was just thinking.."
"Eh that's fine let's watch Home alone"
"Alright."
As I'm sipping my hot chocolate hes sitting next to me. He's so relaxed with me. That's nice. It makes me feel ok. Maybe even a bit happy..
We are 30 minutes into the movie and Shinazugawa is resting his head into the crack of my neck.
My face is red. Scarlet. Crimson. Any synonym of red and that's the colour of my face in that moment. He's so close. And he even has his arms wrapped around me.
Am I gay..?
WORD COUNT: 836
Had no ideas for this chapter please give me some 😭.
