Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him-it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at leas...
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I never really bought into the whole living for the weekend thing until recently. Once upon a time I faked that I did. The same way most high school students fake things to fit in. I would surround myself with others who would go through the motions of commitments–school, sports, jobs– during the week and then spend their entire weekends getting crossfaded and stumbling back through their bedroom windows, tucking themselves snuggly into their butterfly bedspread before their families woke up.
I did those things too, but out of necessity to fill time, to make sure I was constantly surrounded by others. To force myself to pretend I had it all together, when I was slowly crumbling inside. But I have been looking forward to this weekend, living for this weekend for the sheer promise of having to fill no time. I get to stay in my bed, uninterrupted for hours on end, possibly the only student on this campus to do so because the other forty thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine undergrads will spend their day sweating straight alcohol from their pores at the football game.
"Do you want to go to the game together? Alyssa says, standing on the edge of the futon hanging onto the railing of my bed, bringing her face dangerously close to mine. I ignore her, and continue to look at my computer screen. One of my favorite episodes of One Tree Hill playing out in front of me. Alyssa doesn't back down, reminding me that you can never be prepared to share a room with someone if you never have before. One of us in this room has taken the challenge in strides. I, on the other hand, miss my privacy.
After the whole party debacle at my brother's, I thought we were done for. While I hid and fought off anxiety induced waterworks, she got extremely drunk on free alcohol. I ended up being a human crutch, aiding her in the rocky walk home.
I believed that was our downfall, a foreshadowing for a school year full of disagreements and tiptoeing around one another. Alyssa, however, saw it as our beginning. The mark of a true friend in waiting, the fact that I didn't leave her to find her way home alone. Little does she remember, I did try to leave her, but as she walked out of the apartment building she began walking in the wrong direction. I'm trying to start over, being a suspect of homicidal negligence isn't going to help me.
So ever since then, it's been all, "let's go get coffee together!" or "can I borrow this shirt?" It's what I picture living with Gabi would have been like. If Gabi started practicing yoga daily and snorting cocaine in between pranayama breaths. When I brought this up to Gabi in our Wednesday night phone call, however, she told me I was being a bitch and to try harder. Which, by the look on Alyssa's face, tells me she too, is waiting for me to try harder.
"Oh I don't really do the whole sports ball thing, but I hope you have fun" I say readjusting my computer so her face is blocked from view, and return to my episode. Alyssa stays frozen and I already know what she is going to say before she says it,"I'm sorry, but isn't your dad the coach? And your brother is the quarterback?"
"Yes, but the terms dad and brother are a little too confining for me." I say purposely shoveling a handful of popcorn into my mouth chewing slowly in an attempt to prolong my need to answer again.
