Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him-it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at leas...
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I thank God that Camryn didn't hang around and wasn't in the conference room when I push her brother through the door roughly thirty minutes after she did the thing I didn't have the balls to do. I felt like such a fucking coward as I watched her walk away from me after a poor attempt on my part to tell her how I feel. I wasn't lying when I told her I want all the same things she does, that every single thought she's had, I've shared, if not magnified until every other thought in my head is consumed by her. I have no idea when it started, or how it morphed so quickly into something I can't quite fight anymore. But with every thought of Camryn in my head, another thought follows, reminding me that the truth still lies beneath the surface. I'm already hurting her before we've even had the chance to begin something real and she doesn't even know it.
I've tried to come up with a solution for weeks now, thinking that there has to be a scenario where everyone wins. I already got my money, but I could find a way to pay Cal back in advance and wipe my hands clean of the situation. Then I could just focus on helping Camryn follow through with her plan. More importantly I could have her all to myself. But no matter how many times I rewrite the play or rerun the route I always come up empty handed.
That's the only reason I asked Camryn to wait for the season to be over. It's been my only solution all along. Cal and I originally agreed on terms that only included the active season. The plan has always been for me to find a way to make my own money once the playoffs are over and I declare for the draft. I've even talked to my counselor about all online classes next semester so I can go back to Texas to be closer to my mom. That was the plan from the beginning, but then Camryn had to go and be...her.
Even with that plan still burning in the back of my mind, watching her walk away from me like she was leaving for good. I could only picture continuing to live my life, but without her in it and it fucking hurts. The thought that everyday would begin and end without talking to her, seeing her, sharing things with her. So here I am, throwing fucking caution to the wind. I have no idea what I'll do about my mom's treatment, but Cal gave no timeline for his repayment.
Cal curses me and demands an explanation as I shove him through the door, closing it behind me. I would be pissed too if one of my friends swarmed me like an ex-girlfriend as I shoved him away from a group and down the hall into this room.
"I need out," I explain, "Our deal, the money, I don't want it anymore. Camryn doesn't need me anymore and I don't want to be her fucking babysitter. I want out." I leave out the fact that I very much want to watch after Camryn, but on my terms. No longer with a dollar sign waving over her head, or with me running back to her brother to tell him things he should already know. I want to be with her under no pretense. I want to feel the same relief I did when she walked in tonight. Everytime I see her, I only want to feel relief.
"Not an option," Cal spews, crossing his arms and stepping away from me.
"I can't do it anymore. I don't know how you don't feel like a piece of shit. All I think about is how unfair this is to her. We're messing with her and she has no idea. If she ever found out, what would she think about you?"
