Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him, it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at lea...
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I thank God that Camryn isn't still in the conference room when I push her brother through the door roughly thirty minutes later. After she did the thing I didn't have the balls to do, I felt like such a fucking coward watching her walk away. It was a poor attempt on my part to tell her how I feel even if I wasn't lying. Every single thought she's had, I've shared, if not magnified until until she's all I think about. I don't even know how it happened. It's strange to not know when the feelings started and then time just moves so quickly until they morphed into something I can't fight anymore.
But I can't even let myself think of Camryn without the reminder of the truth lying beneath the surface. I'm already hurting her before we can even see what is really here between us and she doesn't even know it.
For weeks now, I've tried to find a way for everyone to win. I already got my money, but if I could just find a way to pay Cal back I could wipe my hands of the situation and help Camryn see her plan through. More importantly, I could have her all to myself. No matter how many times I rewrite the play, though, I always come up empty handed.
It's the only reason I had to ask Camryn just to wait. Waiting until the end of the season has only been the real solution this entire time. Even without Cal's money, I've always just needed this football season to end. The plan has always been for me to find a way to make my own money while I prepare for the draft. I had even already planned on all online classes next semester so I could move back to Texas to be closer to my mom. Football season has always been the only obstacle until Camryn had to go and, be her.
Even if I still execute the plan the way it burns in my mind, watching her walk away tonight felt final. I know that it would probably be for the best, but picturing my life without her in it fucking sucks. I don't want to move through days that begin and end without her. So here I am, throwing caution to the fucking wind. I have no idea what I'll do about my mom's treatment, but Cal gave no timeline for his repayment.
Cal curses me and demands an explanation as I shove him through the door, closing it behind us. I'm not surprised he's pissed. I swarmed him like an angry ex-girlfriend and removed him from the group he was talking to without an explanation. But I couldn't bring it up there, not with so many prying eyes.
"I need out," I explain, "Our deal, the money, I don't want it anymore. Camryn doesn't need me anymore and I don't want to be her fucking babysitter. I want out." I leave out the fact that I very much want to watch after Camryn, but on my terms. I don't want a dollar sign waving over her head, or to have to feed information to her brother. I want to be with her under no pretense. I want to feel the same relief I did when she walked in tonight. Every single time I see her, I only want to feel relief.
"Not an option." He crosses his arms and steps away from me.
"I can't do it anymore. I don't know how you don't feel like a piece of shit. This is so unfair to Camryn. We're messing with her and she has no idea. What would she think about you if she ever found out?"
