Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him, it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at lea...
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I don't let go of my mom or Nora's hands the entire walk to the elevator, or down the hall, or even as we find our name cards and take a seat at the table. I can't let go. I'm afraid if I do, they will just disappear, evaporate into thin air. The only time I let go is to give Camryn's hand a squeeze as she says a goodbye and leaves to find her own seat right next to her brother.
I have no idea how she pulled it off. The possibility of having my mom and sister here for Family Weekend was a dream, not something that could be made into a reality, or so I thought. I let myself look at her again. She's now all the way across the room. Her eyes are still on me, though. I have a feeling they have been and will be until we're together again. I swallow hard to push it down. The flutters I feel in my stomach. I shouldn't be allowed to feel them.
My mom is watching me, watch Camryn. She doesn't say anything, only raises her eyebrow. I just shake my head and take a sip of my water. I ask her again how it's real that she's here, but she quickly credits Camryn with it all. Nora jumps in to claim her part too, that if she had never connected with Camryn they would still be in Texas. My mom argues that I was trying to hide Camryn from them, but I ignore her. If only she knew I was trying to avoid this very thing. I knew that if they ever met her, got to know her that they would love her.
I didn't want them to get attached to Camryn, but I can already tell it's too late.
I'm forced to change the subject again. This time I ask about her doctor. My mom assures me that he knows she's here, and that he thought this trip would be good for her. He felt it would give her the break she needed.
It should make me happy to have her here, and it does, but the tears threaten to break my front every time I look at her. She looks fragile. If it weren't for the makeup Nora put on her, the skin of her face would be sallow and sunken in. She's at least thirty pounds lighter than the last time I saw her. Now she's nothing but sharp angles and skin hidden beneath an oversized sweater. It's the red one that she wears too frequently during the season, only because it matches the red of our team's home jersey perfectly.
The only thing I find relief in is the fact that my mom hasn't stopped talking. In the past, when she was really sick she would sleep for days straight. We could go a whole week with less than fifty words from her and conversations weren't going to happen. Depression hit her hard. Not even Nora or I could pull her from it. But now, it's a faucet stuck in the on position. She's talking so much that she begins to cough and I have to remind her to drink water. The meds make her need dehydrated enough as it is, I can't have her sudden desire for conversation to be what does her in.
She's gotten really good at ignoring me this evening though, and continues telling me the entire plan and everything Camryn has arranged for them. I can't help the smile on my face as I hear the details of their trip. It began with flying them first class. Camryn knew my mom hates to fly, so I'm guessing she arranged whatever she could to make her extra comfortable. She even went as far as to have someone to pick my mom and Nora from every gate in a golf cart to transport them to their next one so she didn't have to walk or feel rushed.
