Un Verano Sin Ti (Book 2: A Summer Without You) [Bad Bunny Story]

11: Not Over Him

=MIA=

I stood in the VIP area and awaited Beni's performance. I haven't seen him since he left the green room because he had to do some interviews and stuff. I waited in the green room before I got called because the event was about to start, and Beni was like the opening act. 

By the way, the name green room is misleading because the room is not green at all. There isn't even a tad of green in there. Weird.

I assumed it was a private event, but his fans were present and cheering as soon as he showed up on the stage. Sometimes I forget that he's famous. In contrast to the suave and charismatic guy on stage, when I'm with him, he's just being himself. I mean, he's still handsome and charming, but he's just different on stage. At one point, he glanced over to me and grinned.

At that moment, I felt my face blush so hard. Suddenly, everything just became, I don't know, weird. I wonder if that's the correct word. I just stood there, captivated by his performance. I just... I find myself drawn to him instantly.

I can feel my stupid heart pounding like crazy. He just looked cool. The heck! What is happening to me? Am I going crazy? for him? Shucks! I need to calm down.

I turned around, exited the VIP area, and went to the restroom. I need to calm down. I put down my belongings on the countertop, washed my face with water, and stared at the sink with a blank expression.

After a few minutes, when I finally calmed down, I looked at myself in the mirror. The realization just hit me.

"I am soooo not over him."

Kayla was right. I was in denial. I thought I was over my crush, but I didn't expect my feelings to develop even further than that. 

Of course, I like him. If I didn't, I wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't allow him to hold my hands or hug me. I don't even hug my own parents.

I don't know what to do. Should I tell him my feelings? I know I like him, but I don't know if I love him. What is love? Am I already in love with him? Is it too late to back out?

Questions just keep popping out of my head. I tend to overthink things, especially when I get nervous, and I'm really nervous right now. My mind is just full of what-ifs.

Does he even like me? Will he even like someone like me? I know I'm beautiful in my own way, but as Kayla said, I'm not that model beautiful or someone famous like his past girlfriends. Should I ask him if he likes me? What if he doesn't? What should I do then?

I don't want to assume that he likes me. I don't want to get my hopes up and end up getting hurt. Honestly, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I've never been in a relationship before, so what I'm feeling right now is entirely new to me.

Ughhh! I don't like this. I don't like this at all. I shouldn't think about this. I lingered in the restroom for a while before deciding to go. I just had to get myself together.

I felt the stinging pain in my feet when I got out. These heels are killing me. I reached down to unhook the strap of my heels and took it off. Also, this stupid dress keeps slipping up. I occasionally have to tug it down, which is so annoying. I don't think I'll ever get used to wearing a dress.

I walked barefoot and carried my shoes in my hand.

"I will hold that for you." Juaquin offered and before I could refuse, he already has my shoes.

"Thank you." 

Should I go home? I think it's better to stay away from him in the meantime. But how can I stay away from him if I live in his house? I shouldn't let him get his way around me. I need to figure out what I want to do with my feelings. Starting now, I will be more conservative.