In the Shadows (Mattheo Riddle)

chapter 53

I wasn't ever the same again. The panic attacks. The night terrors. I had dropped pounds in the matter of days. If Mattheo didn't force feed me I would've evaporated into thin air.

Weeks had gone by now, and Snape has stepped up as our knew headmaster. Life didn't feel real anymore. I continued classes. Tried to keep a routine, but it was as if I was on autopilot. I was following everyone else.

I stayed here for holiday break. So did Mattheo. We spent mostly all our time in his room, or by the lake in the fresh air. I couldn't hold conversations. I wasn't the same Amelia I was.

But he was patient. He was gentle. He never left my side. Through my panic attacks. Through the night terrors. He was there, in everyday a person could be there for you.  

There was one day, Christmas morning. That was the only day I got a glimpse of my old self.

Mattheo woke me up, all the dorms were empty, everyone had gone home to their families. He dragged me down to the common room where he had set up a Christmas tree and under it laid one single present. A small box, wrapped in gold, with a green bow. 

He pulled me over to it and we sat on the floor, as if we were children.

"Go on, open it!" He shouted, so joyfully.

I read in his sloppy hand writing, "To: My Darling From: Mattheo"

I smiled. For the first time in weeks.

he had told me once, he never had a Christmas. never got a gift. so the fact that he knew how to do this, he was healing his childhood through me. 

I opened the tiny box to key.

"Once term is over, we don't have to go home, Amelia. We can go to this cottage. No one knows of it. Not even my father. It used to belong to my mother, her sister gave me the key. Its far away from here, where no one will find us. It could be just us. Living normally. Just us."

I started balling. I didn't want to know how his mothers sister found him, or where it was. All I knew was I wanted it. I wanted a normal life, away from here. Away from the constant reminders of my mistakes. Of my life now. I wanted a life with him.

"Okay" I whispered back to him, with a smile on my face.

"Okay!" He responded, pulling me in to a long kiss.

I had bought him a gift, ages ago. I planned on staying for Christmas, to spend it with him. 

I hide it behind the couch months ago. I reached for it and watched his face light up. Like a kid, like the kid he never got to be. it was a stupid sweater I had knitted for him. something hand made, that he could call his own. I watched a tear form in his eye. that was all the thanks I needed. 

We were healing, together. 

We spent the rest of that day roaming the castle, having a wonderful holiday feast and feeling normal once again.

I wanted to hold on to that feeling, forever.