Things Can Go Wrong

Chapter Twenty Three

AISURU

"Meet me at the local mall in an alleyway between the video game store and the beauty salon at three in the afternoon sharp. I know your secret."

Below this random message, are around eight or nine photos of me and Kirai together. I've spent the last ten minutes pacing around my bathroom trying to deal with the fact that someone's figured it out. I don't know how they did, but I don't want to know, in a sense. I'm extremely scared, and I'm not exactly sure what to do.

Do I go to the mall and try to face what's going on? Or do I just hideaway, do nothing and let it be known that someone has hundreds of photos of me and Kirai; some of them a lot more revealing of our relationship than others?

The first thing I think of doing is waking Kirai up and telling him about this, however I go against the idea entirely, as I don't want to worry him at all. I read the text frantically over and over again, not pausing at all when reading.

My mind feels like its being jumbled like a jigsaw piece, and my mind can't focus on anything but what I've just been reading. I hear Kirai rise from bed, and he knocks on the bathroom door. I let him in, put the phone away and try extremely hard not to burst into tears in front of him.

I pack up my stuff and leave as fast as I possibly can, almost running from his house when he is out of my sight. As I'm running, I trip over a set of rocks on the sidewalk and discover seconds later that blood is spilling out of my right leg and a huge gash from the fall has formed at the back of my leg.

I hastily get up, tears forming in my eyes and I make my way to the mall, hoping that the person who has found out about me and Kirai isn't extremely harsh on me and isn't a homophobic dirt bag like the majority of my family.

As I keep walking to the mall, my hands begin to tremble, and my legs feel as if they are going to start juddering at any given moment. I'm zoning out extremely frequently, and that's something I almost never do. Going to the mall feels a lot quicker than it actually is, and even though I could just return home and hide away, there is a high chance that this person could be willing to expose our relationship, and I'll do anything - and I mean by anything, to stop the two of us being exposed.

After ten minutes of thinking deeply, I make my way into the main centre of Koenji Mall, and amongst the brightly lit stores all crammed next to each other, I make out the alleyway between the video game store and the beauty place, and I slowly begin walking towards the dimly lit alley.

As I approach closer, I notice a shadow, which later emerges to be a person, and I see him do a few hand signals towards me, telling me to come closer to him. He has his back turned, seemingly deep in thought. He's wearing a t-shirt which is slightly ripped and full of blood stains, and for a second I think he might stab me.

Surprisingly, he turns around, and I flinch upon realizing who has found out that I'm in a homosexual relationship.

Suji Otoko.

I freeze completely. At first, I expected that this person may have been a complete stranger, with mixed feelings overall, but my expectations have been blown out of proportion entirely and I know that whatever is going to happen next isn't going to end well.

The first thing he does is pull out my old phone, and he slowly scratches the screen slightly using the walls between us. Once he's finished trying to damage my phone, he goes to my phone gallery and shows me the text conversations that I've had with Kirai detailing our secrets. He keeps scrolling, smirking to himself as we both stay silent for around two to three minutes.

After what feels like an eternity, Suji finally speaks, and he rolls up his sleeve to reveal a red tattoo containing a pentagram with a knife and skulls in the middle. Beneath that is the Romaji translation for the word "murder" and I become really confused.

"Aisuru Yoma." he says menacingly.

"I have something to tell you."

"You see, I found your dirty little secret out after you left your phone in that park, and I immediately knew what to do with it."

"I used it as a burner phone for a little while, but it isn't that great of a phone, so it isn't really needed."

He jolts his left arm backwards and throws my old phone onto the wall to the right of me, and after about half a second airborne, the phone shatters, leaving several glass fragments and a split blue case on the ground.

At this point, I am shaking, and my nervousness is not being hidden very well. He runs towards me and pins me to the wall nearest to him, gripping me by the neck. He smiles brightly and devilishly, before dropping me to the ground, not caring that I am wincing in pain.

"Let's put it this way." he says, rolling up a cigarette.

"If you join Satsujin, my gang, then I'll keep quiet about your romance."

"If you refuse, I'll fucking rip you apart by exposing you to your family and everyone else around you."

"Understood?"

My mind becomes extremely conflicted, yet I have no other choices to make when it comes to this question; I have to join a gang that will probably get me doing things that'll have me arrested or put behind bars for years on end. At first, I want to open my mouth and say no, however upon the realization that my parents will quite literally rip into me and leave me a blubbering mess, I sigh in defeat and accept Suji's proposition just so they don't hate me.

"Yes." I stammer out, slowly lifting myself up off the ground and onto my feet again.

And, everything after that feels like a blur. I'm given Suji's number, I'm added to a group chat with all of the members of Satsujin in, I have to see them discuss ways to brutally beat people, and the moment I finish dinner with my parents, I get up to bed, and silently burst into tears, letting out all of my frustration over today.

I know that I'm not a criminal, but I do think I'm a very bad person. I should have taken the bullet and let Suji expose me, but I just can't let it happen. As for what's going to happen next, I'm going to try my best to act normal in front of everyone over these coming weeks, and hopefully they can believe that I'm fine.

My mind drifts to the events of today, and I cry myself to sleep, praying that no-one ever finds this out.