CRIMINAL // minsung

chapter 29

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I just started at a new school around a week ago and truthfully it's quite exhausting, so that's why this is late. all of my updates might be a little slow for some time:( I feel stupid since I really want to work on this book but I just simply don't have time.

"Oh, jesus christ, Jisung. What- who did this to you? I- where have you been, are you alright? I can't- Hyunjin-ah, help me!" Felix's distressed rambling reverberated through the mostly empty parking lot.

He was holding Han, who's collapsed onto the asphalt, still bleeding from his face and barely conscious anymore.
His legs stopped working when he saw Felix, the relief of someone familiar being there so big that his body just gave in the second it realized it didn't have to fight anymore.
His heart caving in and his lungs overworked, he wanted to drift away right there with Felix's voice ringing in his ears, wanted to never wake up again.

Hyunjin cursed through his teeth, because he didn't even have to guess who did this to Han, didn't have to think about it for a single second. He knew it was Minho, and suddenly Hyunjin wanted to be back at home just so he could yell at the man again.

But Felix called for him, and he had no choice but to kneel on the hard ground next to the blonde even if it hurt his knees.

Han blinked and let out a small sound.
"Felix."

"Help me. His name is Han and he's my friend, he's a detective, I can't-"
Felix cut himself off with a sob as he stroked Han's hair frantically.

Hyunjin looked at Han, hearing Felix tell him things that he already knew, and guilt stings under his skin, sharp and red and deserved.

"Let's get him inside. He's been beat up, Lix, but he's not dying. Alright? He'll be alright." Hyunjin heard the tremble in his own voice.

Felix opened his mouth to respond, but Han mumbled something before he could start.

"...Minho said- he said your breakfast kimbap is going bad in the fridge."

Hyunjin gasped and lowered his head. It stings in his chest.

"What? Han, what are you saying?" Felix asked, confused now.

"He's sorry, too. Tells you to come home." Han added, looking at Hyunjin, voice barely audible.

Hyunjin let out a pathetic, choked laugh, but nothing was funny.

He knows Minho's right, he should go home. Every second he spends here with Felix is wrong; the reason he even came here in the first place was to tell Felix to not get involved. What he was doing now is involving him, and he needs to go.
Felix looked at him for answers, but Hyunjin ignored the gaze to preserve his sanity enough so he could speak.

"The one with the blonde curls. Don't let him near Lix. Please. He's with Minho." Hyunjin spoke to Han and  looked at him long enough so he saw the other nod in silent understanding. Then he got up.

"I have to go," he announced quietly and Felix's face dropped even more.
Hyunjin paused, opened his mouth to speak, closed it and then opened it again.

"...You know, like I promised, I never took them off, Lixie." He said, rubbing the brown and white rings on his ring finger.

And he knew he was selfish, Han was lying right there borderline unconscious in front of him needing help and Felix was crying and he still couldn't stop being selfish.

"Hyunjin?" He heard Felix sob again as he turned away. His heart was shattered into a million pieces that punctured the soles of his feet like glass as he walked away.

Han wanted to comfort the other, but all he had strength for was weakly lifting his right hand on top of Felix's shaky one.

"You have to tell me things, Jisung-ah."
Felix's gaze was pleading and full of confusion.
Han squeezed his hand in agreement; he knew he owed him that much.

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"What?" Minho had felt Changbin's eyes burning a hole through him all day.

"Nothing."
Changbin sat on the kitchen table munching on an onigiri.
"It's just quiet."

Minho rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, for once."

Soonie was purring in his lap, rubbing its head against Minho's palm.

"I know you didn't want him to go."

Changbin continued, more quietly now.
Minho heard him anyway, wants to pretend he didn't, but he did.

"So what?" He said back, drawing circles in Soonie's fur.

"So, you should know that it's okay that you feel that way. And that it was selfless of you to let him go despite that."

Minho didn't know how to answer that. He was thankful for Changbin, always has been, even though he has rarely found a way to express that. He hoped Changbin knew it anyway.

He kept playing with the fur absentmindedly.

"I hurt him a lot." He mumbled a few moments after, looking down at the content cat in his lap.

"...Yeah," Changbin lowered his head.

"But he still loves you."

Minho froze, and Soonie gave him an unsatisfied look at the lack of pets.

"What?" His voice was stuck in his throat and the question came out distorted.

He had never even considered that a possibility. Not even when he himself knew he carried some unresolved feelings for the other, that he couldn't deny; he knew something was different when all he wanted to do was kiss the other breathless every time he looked at him.
But never would he have thought that Han could feel that way.
All this time, all he thought he had been doing was changing the way he thinks, making him into someone similar to Minho. Moulding him into a member of his team, a killer.
He hadn't thought about it once until now, that maybe his advances had had  a bigger impact on the detective than he had intended. Bigger, and infinitely more dangerous.

Minho wanted to hit himself in the face.

That would be even worse, unforgivable of him to have destroyed another person so completely, to have stripped someone not only of their sense of self and morals - that Minho could live with, had even aimed for it- but also of their ability to love and to be loved the way a person is supposed to.

If he really had taken that away from Jisung, he wasn't sure how he would live with himself.

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Minho wears the smell of blood and death like a perfume.
Jisung buries his nose in his skin, in places where that smell is the strongest.
Minho is a weapon, a killer.
He squeezes red color out of your veins, covers his hands in it and paints Jisung's sky pretty colors.

Jisungs watches in awe.

_________________

"He doesn't-... he can't love me. He's not that stupid."

"Oh, Minho. Come on." Changbin breathed, looking at him with pity.

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