Wolfstar One shots <3

#19 Panic Attack (Part One)

Remus has panic attacks and Sirius calms him down. One day a quidditch event is held and Remus is asked to write a report for the Daily Prophet (he wants to be a journalist when he's older).

Sirius and Remus were sitting in the great hall, Remus minding his own business and Sirius trying to mind his, when a man in a suit approached them. Sirius sat up intrigued and Remus straightened his jacket, thinking the man was someone school related.

"Are you Mr-" the man squinted at the paper through his glasses, "Remus Lupin?"

"That depends who's asking" Sirius answered for Remus, skeptical about the man's behavior.

"I see your friend here cares for you deeply, no need to fret though. My name is Mr Barnabas Cuffe"

Suddenly Remus' face went red and Sirius looked at him confused and panicked before Remus blurted out, "Mr Cuffe, you're the head writer for the Daily Prophet!"

Sirius admired Remus as his eyes lit up, knowing how much the daily prophet meant to him if Remus was going to be a journalist. Cuffe smiled happily at Remus, glad that he had been recognized.

"Indeed I am, and I'm a writer who has read some of your work, Minerva is a dear friend of mine and she recommended you. I would like you to write about this weeks upcoming quidditch match between your houses and submit it to me by Sunday morning"

"It'll be in the paper?" Sirius was now intrigued, if Remus could get a good word in for him maybe this Cuffe guy could say something admirable about Sirius' quidditch skills.

"Oh yes, under Mr Lupin's name as well. I understand you want to be a journalist, this is your first step" Cuffe handed Remus a card with his details on it and tipped his hat, leaving the hall and presumably going back to his office.

Remus turned to Sirius with excitement, his work could be in the Daily Prophet! This was a huge opportunity for him, suddenly it dawned on him that this might have been poorly timed though.

"Moony this is awesome! You've always wanted this"

Remus didn't respond with happiness though, he looked down at the card and chucked it on the table before getting up and leaving as well. Sirius stared at him in confusion and grabbed the card before it got lost in the cracks of the table.

"Moony wait! Where are you going?"

Sirius ran after Remus, losing him in the corridors before stopping and following the smell of burnt smoke down out into the gardens that lay behind one of the greenhouses. Sirius rounded the corner and saw Remus balled up and crying, his face red and his free hand bawled into a fist.

"Moony-"

"Stop calling me that!" Remus looked up at Sirius with a red eyes, anger surging from his face.

"..."

"Please" Remus whispered and lowered his head again, hoping the nicotine would soon hit his system.

"Remus, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it Sirius! I can't do it anymore! He always wins! Every fucking time something good happens! He- I'm a monster."

Remus looked at Sirius desperately as he gasped for air, his head filled with uncontrollable thoughts, every noise around him intensifying and ringing in his ears.

Sirius came and sat in front of Remus, taking the cigarette and burning it out before holding Remus' face with one palm and interlocking his spare hand with Remus' as he kept Remus still.

"Remus look at me"

Remus kept blinking, his world spinning.

"Remus. Look. At. Me."