Green Eyed Monster

The Blame Game

We leave the precinct. Drake takes Trevor with him while Elgin takes me home. Now driving in complete silence, once here, I immediately head upstairs to bathe. Elgin grabs me, asking, "You want me to make you coffee?"

"No. I just want to be alone."

"I'm not leaving you alone like this. Go shower. I'll make us coffee, then we'll go from there."

"Elgin, I'm not talking this morning. I'm all talked out..."

"Hey! Shhh. I promise no talking. I only want to be here for you, okay? Will you allow me to do that?" I nod, then head upstairs.

Refusing to rush, I take my time and soak. As I lift my hand to grab my body wash, it's trembling out of control. Soon, I start imagining everyone being told what I've done. Now I'm thinking of the devastation of my babies. Lola will never forgive me. Then I think about Pinky. Never in a million years did I think she'd be so treacherous towards me. This is why I excluded her to avoid anything happening, yet she does the unimaginable and destroys my life anyway.

After bathing for over 30 minutes, I moisturized for another ten, put on my robe, and then headed downstairs. Elgin's fixing himself another cup of coffee when I enter the kitchen. He asks, "May I shower?"

"I already left towels and a toothbrush out for you in the guest bathroom."

"Thanks."

He gently caresses my shoulder as he walks past. I make a cup of coffee, then walk out onto my deck. I guess Mrs Tolbert stayed with her family. When I go to reenter my home, I hear, "Mae!"

It's Ivey. He lifts his finger, motioning for me to wait. He entered my backyard and walked directly in front of me with open arms. I placed my coffee mug on my patio table and hugged him. He squeezes me tight while I weep.

"Shhh. It's okay. It's okay."

Elgin returns to our embrace. Ivey greets, "Good morning, Pastor Spears. I thought Mae was alone. I'm so glad you're here."

"Good morning, Ivey. Yeah, I'm still here."

With pressed lips, Ivey says, "Well, I'll leave you two to yourselves. Mae, I just wanted to let you know that Terri and I are here for you if you need to talk or anything else. We're simply a knock away."

 I nod. He extends his hand, saying, "Pastor."

Elgin shakes it nodding. Ivey leaves. After nuking his coffee, he returns to sit outside with me. Too ashamed to look at him, I face the lake. In silence, Elgin watches with me before he says, "I know you don't want to talk about it, but must everyone know except me?"

Glancing his way, he gives a puppy dog frown, but I mumble out, "It's too humiliating."

"I'm a pastor. Trust me, it's nothing I've never heard before. I can handle it."

Still admiring the lake, I say, "Solomon and I have a past."

"What kind of past?"

Rolling my eyes toward him, I repeat, "A past."

"When was this?"

"This past Summer."

"Okay?"

"Elgin, must I spell it out? We have a past! You do comprehend that terminology, don't you?"

"Calm down. And yes, I comprehend it. ...So Pinky knew obviously."

"Yes. Once things got very serious with Solomon and Lola, I turned to my friend, so I thought, for support and guidance."